Wednesday, September 28, 2011

30 Days to Make a Change....

I realized today that in 30 days I will be yet another year older.  They say that time goes by faster as you get older and I would have to agree with that.  I will be 36 this year - I am always happy when people still guess that I am in my 20's.  I am not sure if that is by looks alone (I have to credit that to good genes) or by my behavior as well which might mean I need to grow up a little - we will just go with looks!  Age has always been just a number to me.  It really does not bother me to get older - I love being in my 30's.  You really learn who you are and discover more of your purpose for being here.  So to all of you who whine and complain about your age - there's nothing that can be done about it so why not celebrate and make the most of it! 

I always like to enter my birthday feeling very good about who I am (the interior), how I am doing in life (my purpose), and how healthy / in shape I am feeling (exterior).  I have done this over the last couple of years and it just helps to keep me focused on the right things as well as gives me a goal to work towards - and I always love a good goal!  So for the next 30 days I am committing myself to truly stay connected with what is important to me and set goals to enter year 36 the best that it can be. 

As far as the interior of who I am - my goal is to have a focus time each morning to prepare myself for the day.  For me, that includes reading the Scriptures, prayer, and meditation.  It is true that God does not love us any less if we miss a day but the outcome of having one motivates me to stay disciplined with this every day during the week.  I also want to engage in activities that will help challenge me, build my character, and inspire me to bigger things!  That may come in reading books, television programs, and connecting with those types of people that motivate me.   

As far as my purpose - my goal is to focus on writing, both in this blog and on my new book (which I will admit that I have neglected).  I also want to find a way each day to make a positive difference - it might be something small or big - but just being conscious of that will help keep me on the right track.  I also want to make more of an effort to connect with those people that are most important to me - family and friends. 

For the exterior - I am committing to working out 4 days a week, running 4 mornings a week, and being very conscious about what I eat.  I am not going to go crazy like I have done in the past and completely give up all food items with the slightest hint of "junk" in them, but I will just make smarter choices to keep all body systems in check.  (Anyone who read my facebook status yesterday - I think I might have to give up my daily 3 Musketeers for a month - so sad!)  I also have two 5k's that I will be running in October and am trying to decide if I want to train for a half-marathon in November.   

I understand that this may not have anything to do with you specifically, but it really helps me to stick with my plans when I put it out there on the blog.  As days go by, I will probably make note of my progress.  This works as an accountability tool for me but I also hope that it encourages you to take a few days or weeks to make goals for yourself.  It is all about becoming who we are truly meant to be and for myself - this is one effective way to do it. 


Today I am grateful for:  1.  Waking up and being reminded of the beauty of a new day  2.  Having some time this morning to watch one of my favorite shows (Parenthood)  3.  Learning and interacting with others at work today  4.  Reading other encouraging blogs today  5.  Coming up with my "30 days to make a change" plan

Monday, September 26, 2011

Sending Out Encouragement....

I had a few different ideas for today's blog, but I really felt like I wanted to use today as a simple encouragement to everyone who reads it.  I have talked with a few people over the last couple of weeks that have asked me one question - does God really have a better plan for me?  Most of the circumstances surrounding that question are not ideal and they are hoping for "the greener grass" to come soon.  I always answer with a loud and definite - YES! 

My own life speaks for itself when it comes to understanding that there is a better life out there for each of us.  My circumstances have been less than ideal at times and there were moments that I asked the same question.  Each and every time - better things came along.  It is my personal belief that perspective has a lot to do with it.  Even when things are not good in life, keeping the right perspective and believing that it will get better makes a big difference in how we handle those times.  Sure it may not change the situation right then and we need to face reality at times in order to make a change.  But if we simply focus on the bad and allow ourselves to get swallowed up by the crumbling wall - then we will find ourselves continuing to spiral downward and it will seem as though there is no hope in healing our changing.  However, I promise that keeping that belief in what is to come and seeing the result in our minds will get us out of that rut and change will come! 

I cannot say when the change will come, I just know that it will.  There were times in my own life that I wondered if it would ever get better.  I felt alone at times and struggled with the question of why.  For those who are realists and very practical thinkers - I do agree that sometimes a bad situation is just that - a bad situation.  We have to put action to our worries in order to see change.  I am not advocating to live in some fairy tale world and believe that thinking positive will change everything.  It takes a combination of perspective, belief, and action. 

Two statements always come to mind when I am either struggling with this in my own life or giving advice to friends who are.  Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future.  We must believe that the One who is greater than ourself will not leave us but rather stay true to His nature and provide the best for our lives.  The other statement is this:  God can dream a bigger dream for us than we can ever dream for ourself.    In my own life, when I try and focus on the picture of what I see for my life - I also rest in the fact that what can be done with my life is beyond anything I could ever dream up for myself - and I consider myself a pretty big dreamer! 

If you are struggling today, hurting, or simply wishing that circumstances were different - hold on to the truth that they will be.  Focus on the good and not the bad.  Yes, face the reality of the situation and do what it takes to change it - but do not give the negative energy any more attention than it needs.  What I know for sure is that God does have a better plan for each of us - we must simply be open to hearing it and keeping our lives in sync to receive it.  For anyone who needs encouraging - know that you are not alone, find help in others, and believe.  

Today I am grateful for:  1.  The opportunity to run a 5k on Saturday for a good cause  2.  Encouraging church service Sunday and a reminder to continue growing  3.  Meatless Monday today and a great meal coming tonight  4.  A great day and start to the week  5.  Remembering the truth in life's uncertainties

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The A to Z of Me.....

I was not really sure what I would write about tonight and then I saw another person's blog called The A to Z of Me so I thought I would share mine as a way to get to know a few other facts about me.  Here goes: 
 
A. Age: 35  (my coworkers guessed 25 so that was encouraging - one person actually said 21 which is just funny!)
B. Bed size: Queen, and it is so comfortable - I love my bed!
C. Chore that you hate: probably vacuuming the stairs - random I know, but it's not my favorite 
D. Dogs: Axel - gotta love him but recently he has been driving me crazy with leaving "presents" in the house!
E. Essential start to your day: Singing in the shower
F. Favorite color: Blue - lighter shades of blue, not dark
G. Gold or Silver: Silver
H. Height: 6'1" 
I. Instruments you play: Piano and guitar.  I tried violin a long time ago and I was horrible. 
J. Job title: Financial Services Representative - Thank you for calling Verizon...
K. Kids: I do want to be a dad one day - for now, I am OK with being an Uncle!
L. Live: Nashville - Lenox Village to be exact - the best neighborhood in the whole world!
M. Mother’s name: Barbara, many people call her Barb though. 
N. Nicknames: Kev - it's always funny when strangers call me that too.  I have been called worse before though. 
O. Overnight hospital stays: None that I can remember - maybe when I was a baby? 
P. Pet peeves: Littering is #1 for me - I will hunt you down!  Just throw it away in a proper container please! 
Q. Quote from a movie: I see dead people.  Not sure why that one came to mind. 
R. Right or left handed: Right
S. Siblings: Two younger sisters, Christy and Cara
U. Underwear: Boxer briefs - too much info? 
V. Vegetable you hate: Hmmm, I think I like them all. 
W. What makes you run late: I tend to run late in general - not a good trait I know, but I think it's hereditary :)
X. X-Rays you’ve had: My foot when I  broke it a couple of years ago
Y. Yummy food that you make: People love my salsa - I also make a great homemade veggie pizza!
Z. Zoo Animal: Giraffes and elephants
 
So there is a little more to learn about myself.  I also am a big fan of TV shows and am really excited that the new fall season is here!  The shows I keep up with are:  Glee, Modern Family, The Middle, Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, Parenthood, The Office, Harry's Law, Private Practice, The Amazing Race, and of course anything Oprah!  I'm sure I forgot a few - but it really is crazy how much I keep up with! 
 
Hope everyone is having a great week - I need to end this and get ready for the season premiere of Modern Family - I'm sure it's going to be great!!
 
Today I am grateful for:  1.  A really good work day  2.  Working out  3.  Encouraging note I received today  4.  A great night of TV about to happen  5.  So many parts of my life that are simply fun

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Who We Are Versus What We Are...

Pastor Pete made a point on Sunday to remind us that who we are is much more important than what we are.  As he said that, I thought about my own life and how my perspective sometimes gets a little off because I am more focused on the what rather than the who.  It is very easy to want certain things out of life but we are not willing to do what it takes to get ourselves in alignment to receive those things.  Hopefully by the end of this blog, we will be more on point with what is truly important. 

I will be the first to admit that I am the king of wishful thinking.  (Does anyone remember that song from the 90's?)  I have always been one to dream really big and want my life to accomplish big things.  Basically, I want to be the male version of Oprah!  That is not all true, but I have always dreamed of being famous and having that larger platform that comes from fame to make a bigger difference in the world.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with big dreams and desiring more out of life - in fact, I strongly recommend it for everyone!  However, what I was reminded on Sunday is that I need to make sure my life is accomplishing what I want in the future - right now in the present.  If I want to make a bigger difference in the world, am I making a difference in my own smaller world right now?  If I want to be financially able to provide for others and help others in need, am I using my money wisely now and giving whenever possible?  Luke 12:48 says, When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.  What I really need to ask myself is this - am I being responsible with the resources, talents, and gifts that God has given me now?  If not, then I cannot be trusted with more in the future.  If the answer is yes, then more will come. 

Many of us focus on our status in life.  We find importance in titles, careers, and what tax bracket we are in.  What matters even more is who we are as a person.  Are we honest, reliable, giving, loyal, and willing to serve others?  Do others consider us a true friend and do we show love to our family?  In my own life, there are areas that I can improve in and I need to shift my focus on those things rather than worrying about what my status in life is at the moment.  I do love my life and am extremely grateful for each and every good thing that has come my way.  I am also thankful for the struggles and trials because they have shaped me into the person I am today.  Although I do believe that my life is meant for greater things, I have decided to really focus on my present life as I strive toward an even better future. 

This may be something that only I needed to hear, but I wanted to share it so that anyone else who struggles with the same thing might be encouraged.  Be honest with yourself and those things in your life that are going well - continue that and grow even deeper in those areas.  Those things that need work - strive to make progress so that your life can be aligned with an even bigger future.  I have quoted this verse many times, but Jeremiah 29:11 words it perfectly.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Continual lessons learned in life  2.  The bagel with Nutella I had at breakfast  3.  The needed rain we have been getting  4.  Laughing a lot at work today  5.  Coworkers thinking that I was 25 - that's a good compliment!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Recovering from the Weekend....

So I am still a little tired from a very full, but fun weekend (I actually just yawned as I typed that!).  First off, Pay It Forward Day was a really good day.  I hope that  many of you were able to participate.  If not, there will be plenty of other chances so be on the look out!  I went to Starbucks that morning and paid for the person's order  behind me.  I loved hearing the lady behind me place her order and have no idea that it was being paid for.  I gave the barrister a note to give that explained what was going on.  I wanted to type it out to make it more professional but my printer was out of ink and so I had to hand write it - a little "cheaper" looking I know, but it still worked.  I was really excited to do it - and also a little nervous that she might have just placed a big order for lots of coffee drinks - but I believe it all turned out great.  I really wanted to hide in the bushes to see her reaction, but I thought that might come across a little creepy, so I chose to continue driving off.  It was a really great feeling though to hopefully brighten someone's day.  I know that I would be really happy if someone paid for my Starbucks order! 

Later that day was my adventure with the Warrior Dash.  I knew it would be crazy - and it definitely exceeded my expectations.  My sister, Cara and a great fried of ours, Willow were a team.  We made Tshirts and wore knee-high socks and were ready to take on the challenge.  Basically, the Warrior Dash is a 5k on steroids.  There are about twelve obstacles along the way -anything from climbing over hay bales to climbing over walls, running through tires, or getting across nets.  We had intended to run a lot in between the obstacles, but we very quickly resorted to walking in order to save our strength and well... yes, we got very tired very fast!  We helped each other along and tried to encourage each other in between our own gasping for breath.  At the very end, you jump over fire and then crawl on your stomach through mud.  On the front of my Tshirt, I had written "Team Captain" and about the time I was stepping into the mud, a few people yelled out "Jump in Team Captain"!  So of course, I had to dive in and was covered in mud which I spent the rest of the day trying to get out of my teeth, nose, and ears!  It was really a lot of fun and afterwards I was very sore and exhausted - but if you get the chance to participate, do it!! 

The remainder of the day was spent at my sister, Christy's house - and I was able to hang out with Martha Ann and Wylie, which is always the best part of any day.  They are both getting so big and I love being able to be their uncle and see the smiles on their faces - and frowns when Martha Ann wants another cookie, but I can't give her one because Mommy is looking.  Next time I will just have to be a little more sneaky with the cookies - I gotta remain their favorite uncle!  It had been awhile since we had all hung out, so it was a lot of fun. 

Tomorrow's blog will deal with what I learned at church yesterday.  As usual, it was such a motivating and energizing time that I look forward to every week.  Pastor Pete made the point that who we are is much more important than what we are and I want to continue that thought tomorrow.  I hope everyone had a great weekend and will also have a great week!

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Getting to pay it forward Saturday  2.  Surviving the Warrior Dash with Cara and Willow  3.  Spending time with family - Martha Ann & Wylie's hugs and smiles, and Christy's delicious snacks  4.  Incredible worship at church Sunday  5.  Starting the day off today with a great run (in my new running shoes)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Two More Days Until....

This Saturday is our first every PAY IT FORWARD DAY!!  I am really excited about this and hope that all of you will take a moment out of your day to make a positive difference.  It is a very simple thing and can happen wherever you live.  Think of an act of kindness that you can do for someone you do not know.  Various ideas include sending an anonymous card of encouragement, paying for the person behind you at the drive-thru line, volunteering for an organization, paying a bill for someone, sending flowers, visiting a retirement center, giving someone a much deserved compliment, sending food to someone in need, giving someone a ride.... the list goes on and on.  I would encourage you to get creative with your good deeds.  If you have a hard time thinking of something, just keep that desire in your mind and I promise it will present itself!  Just be willing to take action once it does!  I am hoping to hear back from others on how they were able to "spread the good vibes" and make an impact on someone's life.  The really cool part is that we never know what kind of impact it will have on that person.  Just be sure and tell them to Pay It Forward in order to keep it going! 

Feel free to comment on Pay It Forward's facebook page http://www.facebook.com/?sk=lf#!/pages/Pay-It-Forward/187761993898   or here on my blog once you have completed it!  I know that everyone else will be encouraged as well.  We all have things in our life to be grateful for.  We all know what it is like to have an act of kindness given to us.  Now it is our turn to give out of a grateful heart and experience what we all should be doing anyway.  For many of you, this is already a way of life.  If not, I promise that after Saturday, you will want to continue it again and again!

Be sure to visit my blog on Monday - I guarantee that I will have a funny story (and video) about another event I am attending on Saturday!

Have a great weekend and don't forget to PAY IT FORWARD!

Today I am grateful for:  1.  This absolutely beautiful weather  2.  The chance to sit outside during lunch and enjoy it.  3.  Hearing that my nephew Wylie said "Ma Ma" today for the first time!  4.  Hearing someone's excitement about good things in their life.  5.  Grateful in advance for all the good things that will come from Saturday's event!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Brief Glimpse Inside this Head of Mine....

I woke up early this past Saturday ready to run a 5k in my neighborhood.  I really enjoy running these races - yes for the competition and exercise - but more importantly, all the free stuff you get!  I arrived at the start and saw there were a lot of vendors set up so I knew that would mean I would be going home with lots of goodies.  I normally run with my iPod except when I am doing a race.  My thoughts always seem to work overtime when I run without music.  Some people talk how they are able to completely zone out when they run and let their mind relax.  As you will see, that is not me!  Here is a small view of what it is like to be me when I run a race!

I better get towards the beginning of the line so that I can do well on this race.  The winner of this race will receive a free teeth whitening service valued at over $600!  Oh wow, I am definitely getting to the front and I am going to win this race!  I would love a free whitening service!  On your mark, get set, GO!!  Woo hoo - so excited!  (I feel the wind as a few people zoom past me).  OK, so there are at least 20 people already way ahead of me so forget the teeth whitening, let's just try to finish strong.  This is the path I normally follow when I run through my neighborhood so this should be no problem.  (A couple of minutes pass by).  Who are these 2 figures that I keep seeing out of the corner of my eye?  Oh, they are 10 year olds... wait, why am I running the same pace as a 10-year old?  Pass them Kevin!  Why are they speeding up every time I try to pass them?  Move it kids!  (Another minute passes by).  I can already tell that I have not run in awhile - why do I feel tired already?  You can do it!  Good job!  Aww thanks for the encouragement!  Go Daddy, Go!  Oh, they aren't talking to me - that's OK, I could still use the encouragement. 

So what all is planned for today?  Grocery shopping, going to the dog park, birthday party tonight - should be a really good day.  I love my neighborhood!  Why is there a water station so early in the race?  I'm not stopping for that.  HAHA - I just passed those little kids - take that suckers!  You are halfway there - keep going everyone!  Half way there!  You can do it Kevin, You can do it!  Why am I out of breath already?  How in the world could I ever do a half-marathon if I can't even run a 5k.  Get it together Kevin - good thoughts, positive thoughts!  What would Oprah say right now?  (A minute goes by and I pick up my pace some).  I am getting close to my house again... surely there will be someone to cheer me on.  Why didn't I get water earlier?  Great job everyone!  Keep up the great work!  OK, we are getting closer to the finish line - what does that person have?  Thank God, it's a water station!  Here's water - you are really close to the finish now!  Thanks for the... choke, cough, choke, I'm dying.... wow, drank that too fast!  There's a crowd of people cheering their family and friends on - wait, I do not see anyone I know - even Axel is still home asleep.  Oh well. 

I see the finish line!  Finish strong Kevin!  Pick up the pace!  My legs hurt - keep going!!!!  I finished!!  Great job guys!  Way to go!  Feel free to get water, bagels, beer - whatever you want.  Beer, really?  I will just double up on the bagels.  Thanks God for letting me finish the race and finish strong!

It really was a good race and I was satisfied with the time I completed the race.  I then went and got all the free goodies that they had to offer - I did not miss a single thing!  As I walked home - alone, since I'm sure everyone just forgot to come cheer me on - I thought about how random my thoughts are and they seemed to be in a race of their own!  But I did get my free Tshirt for participating and that is really what matters anyway. 

I hope everyone is having a great week and looking forward to our PAY IT FORWARD DAY this Saturday!  Do not let that day go by without doing something nice for someone you don't know!  I can't wait to hear what everyone does! 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Finally getting back to the gym after a 2 week break  2.  Another beautiful day  3.  Getting really good feedback about my progress at work  4.  A picture sent to my phone of my favorite people - Martha Ann & Wylie  5.  Learning more about other people's lives and what they are thankful for

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Gift of Today....

Yesterday was a day for all of us to remember the importance of life and making the most of our time here on earth.  It was hard to believe that it was ten years ago that we all experienced such a tragedy here in America.  I remember exactly where I was and how that day unfolded.  Saturday night, I watched a show on the Biography Channel called I Survived.  This was a special episode that told the stories of many workers and emergency personnel that survived that horrific day.  I was amazed at their stories and it really is a miracle that they all made it home that day to tell their loved ones they were OK.  Those who were still in the buildings when they collapsed and those trapped in burning rooms of the Pentagon and yet they made it out.  Some would say it was fate or chance that put them in the right place at the right time to survive.  I struggle with saying that God chose these people to survive when so many did not - but one thing is true - they were so grateful to still be alive.   

Pastor Pete on Sunday mentioned 9/11 and said that one of the greatest lessons that he learned from that day was that no one can choose how they will die; but we can all choose how we will live.  I have often thought of those who worked in the World Trade Center and how that day started off like any other day.  They had no idea that it would soon become their last day.  Those fireman and police officers showed up for work that day but had no idea what they soon would be asked to do.  Every person from the show I Survived spoke of their thoughts of loved ones and how they held on to a hope that they would see them again that day.  For those who did survive, I am certain that it has changed how they live their days.  My hope would be that for those of us who were not directly affected by the events of 9/11 - we would still learn the lesson from that day.  It is not about living in fear that today could be our last - but rather making the most of the moment.  Do not settle for mediocrity, but rather strive for excellence.  Do not wish you had done things differently - make that change today. 

I found myself tearing up as I thought about those involved that day.  There are so many heart-breaking stories of those who lost family  members.  And yet there are still stories of hope and survival that just encourage and motivate me to make the most of this fragile life that we are all given.  I hope that the same is true for you and that we will all do what almost 3,000 people were not able to do - continue living out our journey.  Each morning I say a prayer and it begins the same way each time - Thank you God for today and for the gift of today.

Also - a reminder that this Saturday is our Pay It Forward Day!  I am really excited and hope that you will decide today what you are going to do for a stranger that day that will make a positive difference in their life! 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Running a 5k race over the weekend  2.  Great church service on Sunday  3.  Seeing friends that I have not seen in awhile  4.  Inspired by those who survived 9/11  5.  A reminder to truly  make the most of each day   

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Are All Siblings Like Us?

I have always thought that my sisters and I had a unique relationship.  I am the oldest and I have two younger sisters, Christy and Cara.  Mom used to say that had she known she was going to have three children she would have started all of our names with the letter "K."  However, I was quick to remind her that it would be "KKK" and that would probably not have been good for us growing up!  We have always been very close and enjoy hanging out together whenever we can.  We love each other so much, but in that love there is also a side of us that finds great pleasure in making fun of each other.  Sometimes we take it too far but it is part of what makes us unique.  If other people said things about us, we would get so mad - but within our sibling relationship, there is really no limits to what we will laugh about!

For example, my sister Christy had a slight scare last week when she was out looking at houses.  She had both of her kids with her, Martha Ann and Wylie.  As they were about to leave, she felt sick and ended up passing out in front of the realtor!  I got a text message from my other sister Cara saying that Christy was being taken to the hospital by ambulance and of course I freaked out!  After a few hours, Christy called to tell me that she was OK and they were at Chick-fil-a getting dinner.  In our family, that is a sure sign that things will be OK!  I talked with Cara afterwards and we both started saying that Christy will do anything to get a Chick-fil-a dinner and we ended up laughing at what had happened.  Wait, let me clarify - not really laughing at what had happened but just the dinner part! 

Cara then reminded me that we each have "our thing" that we make fun of each other for and although in the moment it is not funny, afterwards - and for years to come - we will laugh a lot about!  For Cara, it is getting sick.  There was a time years ago, that Cara was sick upstairs and Christy and I went to check on her.  When we peeked into the bathroom door, we saw the most frightening sight we had ever seen!  Cara, not looking her prettiest, and hugging the toilet bowl.  She looked at us and begged for our help.  Instead, we ran downstairs laughing and sent Mom to help her out.  Some of you might think that is mean - it's really not, it's just the sibling way of doing things. 

My thing is bodily harm.  A couple of years ago during my move to my new house, I was carrying my TV downstairs (to help with the mental image, I have one of the older TV sets that is really big and bulky).  I slipped on the stairs and ended up breaking my foot.  The long story short is that I was unable to get anyone to help me until the next morning.  Cara drove over to take me to the doctor and on the way, she asked if we could stop at McDonald's to get breakfast.  My foot was swollen and I was in severe pain, but she was worried about food!  Then I had to hop on one foot into the doctor's office and down a very long hallway and instead of helping, Cara was on the floor laughing!  Although I still do not find this very funny, I have to say that it is to be expected when it comes to the siblings. 

There are many other sibling stories that I will probably share another time - but the point is this.  These stories follow us for years and every time we talk about them, we laugh until it hurts!  We have told these storeis hundreds of times but I am laughing now even as I type this!  We always wonder if other siblings are the same as us.  I am not sure if they are, but I do know that I would not change a thing about any one of us.  I love my sisters so much and look forward to many more stories that will come about because of our crazy lives!  For those of you who have a sibling, you can probably relate.  And just to clarify, all of Christy's tests came back normal at the hospital, so we are glad that turned out good - or did she really fake it to get Chick-fil-A?? 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  The cooler weather this week  2.  Really great pasta that was made for dinner last night  3.  Another good work day  4.  Hilarious sibling stories  5.  Christy and Cara and how much they mean to me

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Color of Humanity....

I hope everyone enjoyed the long holiday weekend!  For those of you in the Nashville area, you know how crazy it was that on Saturday we experienced 100 degree weather and by Monday it was 65 degrees!  Quite a welcome change though - I love the cooler weather and hope that it stays around!

I saw a movie yesterday that is definitely one of my favorite movies of the year - The Help. If you have seen it, I am sure that you agree with me and if you have not seen it - go see it this weekend!  If you do not know, it is a movie about how African American maids in the 1960's interacted with the white families that they worked for.  It is so well-written, and the actresses are amazing!  I laughed a lot, gasped at how realistic some of the scenes were, was embarrassed to be a part of the white race, and by the end I was crying - yes, it is one of those movies that covers all emotions - and I was not the only one crying at the end!  I will not talk too much about the movie for those who have not seen it, but rather discuss what I was reminded of having seen it.   

Racism and prejudicial attitudes have always been a pet peeve of mine, to put it lightly.  It really gets under my skin to see these behaviors still prevalent in certain people groups and it is baffling to me how some people justified their way of thinking back in the day.  As I watched the movie, I was grateful that major improvements are being made and so many have come to realize that differences in the color of skin is simply that - just a difference in the color of our skin.  Each generation seems to become more open-minded about this area and my prayer is that the next generation being brought up today will be so open to various races and cultures that they will not even comprehend how the previous generations thought they way they did. 

We were created in different cultures, with various skin colors, and with a variety of characteristics that make us each unique and beautiful.  I have said it before but instead of being quick to judge others because of their differences, we should embrace it and celebrate it!  Thank God we are not all the same because it would be a very boring world to live in.   This does not only apply to racial differences, but after seeing the movie it has been on my mind a lot.  I know that part of that perspective comes from how you are raised, but I still think it's only an excuse because we all have the power to change negative behaviors that are taught to us as a child.  It all comes down to what is on the inside that really matters.  Yes, there are cultural differences and I am not saying that we will ever be completely color blind - but I am so thankful that those walls are continually being broken down and I pray that we will all be a part of the answer and not the problem. 

Go see The Help if you have not seen it - get ready to laugh really hard when they talk about the pie! 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  A great 3-day weekend  2.  Much needed rain today  3.  The cooler weather  4.  A great movie that is very thought-provoking  5.  Those who lead the way to break down the walls of racial divide

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Seeing Life Through the Eyes of Ken Goslin

KEN GOSLIN   (1963-2011)

Last week I read an article in The Tennessean - Nashville's newspaper - that was so encouraging, motivating, and heart-felt that I had to share it with all of you.  It was a two-part article and was so beautifully written by Bob Smietana that I asked permission to reprint the article and simply let it speak for itself.  I would love to hear your reaction to Ken Goslin's story and I will talk more about it in a separate blog next week.       

Ken Goslin died Wednesday night in the company of his friends.  Goslin, 48, was featured in The Tennessean on Easter Sunday this year. He’d been homeless for most of his adult life. A year ago, he was living on the streets in downtown Nashville while suffering from a brain tumor. Then he made friends with members of Amos House, a faith-based homeless outreach group, and Open Table.  His new community of friends helped Goslin find a place to live and later arranged hospice care as his health deteriorated.  Though his tumor robbed Goslin of his ability to speak and walk, he remained feisty to the end, communicating by writing on note pads and texting. 
One of his last requests was for a tie-dyed hospital gown.  “Ken said he wanted to go to heaven in tie-dye,” said Lindsey Krinks, a member of Amos House who befriended Goslin. He didn’t get the gown but will be buried in a tie-dyed shirt.  In his last days, Goslin said he’d finally found a family after a lifetime alone and was ready to die.  “I am a believer,” he wrote on his notepad during an April interview. “I believe I am here for a reason, I know I am loved and cared for.”  Goslin’s friends have made tentative plans to hold a graveside funeral at 9 a.m. Monday at Woodlawn Memorial Park in Nashville. Goslin will be buried in a plot donated by a Tennessean reader.

This is the previous article that was written a few weeks earlier: 

This Easter, Ken Goslin is plotting a resurrection of his own, from his room at the Drake Inn on Murfreesboro Pike.  Goslin, who has been homeless most of his life, is dying from a brain tumor that has left him unable to walk or speak. He once feared facing his last days alone, forgotten on the streets of Nashville.  Instead, he is surrounded by friends. They say he will live on in the way he influenced people's ideas about faith, courage and friendship. Even though he is dying, he feels more alive than ever.  Goslin's road to resurrection began with one word, written on a note pad.  "Help."


It was May 2010, and Goslin was sleeping at the Nashville Rescue Mission at night and spending his days rolling his wheelchair around downtown. Things were not going well.  Goslin had recently moved to Nashville from Atlanta, and in the process, his disability check from Social Security was suspended. His debit card from his bank in Atlanta was not working. A tumor in the back of his head was robbing him of his ability to speak. He communicated by writing notes on a pad.  For years, he had battled depression and lived as a loner, unwilling to get close to other people or trust them. He felt like giving up and ending his life. Then he approached the right person — Lindsey Krinks, a homeless outreach worker — on the right day at Church Street Park in downtown Nashville. He held up his note pad.  He jokes that Krinks' good looks first caught his attention. He also thought she looked kind and might be willing to help him.  "She had heart," he wrote. "She seemed as if she cared."


Krinks, a student at Vanderbilt Divinity School, sat down with Goslin in the shade at the park and asked what she could do to help. Not long after that first conversation, the two struck up a friendship. Krinks helped Goslin straighten out his problems with Social Security and the bank. She also began to draw out Goslin's story — a slow process relayed through text messages and on stacks of notebooks.  Goslin was born in San Francisco in 1963 and spent his childhood in foster homes and group homes. By the age of 7, he had moved to Georgia with another foster family, who he says abused him. He learned to trust no one, feeling that no one cared for him.  "Slept in the basement on the dirt with only a blanket in the dark while everyone else was upstairs," he wrote on a note pad. "Foster family — that was the worst. ... So at the ripe ole age of 14 I left home to live on the streets."


His life since that time is a blur. He worked at times — cleaned chimneys for a while and drove a cab — and bounced on and off the streets. There were bouts with booze and drugs.  "Shouldn't be here today," he wrote. "Should be dead."  He left Atlanta in 2010, saying he wanted to live in a smaller city like Nashville.  "He was getting lost in the shuffle down here," said Karen Whitney of Douglasville, Ga. Whitney befriended Goslin through a meals program for homeless folks in Atlanta.  The two text every day. He calls her his adoptive mom, though she is only a few months older than he is.  She said she's amazed at Goslin's ability to persevere, especially after living most of his life on the street.  "Can you imagine going your whole life like that? How would you feel about the world?" she said. "I am proud to call him my son."


In December, Goslin's health took a turn for the worse. He sent a text to Krinks saying he had been admitted to the Vanderbilt hospital. Doctors told him that the tumor, diagnosed months earlier, was growing, and he probably had six months to live.  His options were an operation, which he might not survive, or hospice care. Goslin feared he might survive but end up in worse shape, unable to live on his own. So he chose hospice care.  Despite his challenges, he is fairly independent. He keeps his medical records in the table by his bed and keeps his medications sorted in a box. Because he can't swallow, he feeds himself a liquid diet of cans of TwoCal HN through a feeding tube in his stomach.  He can still get around in his wheelchair on good days and relishes any chance he gets for a taste of Starbucks coffee.


And he's rarely alone. Krinks comes to visit often, as do other volunteers from Otter Creek Church, where she attends. He also has become close to Lauren Jones, his nurse from Guardian Hospice, who visits him three days a week.  "I thought I could make him feel less alone," she said. "He has made me feel less alone as well."  Goslin was the guest speaker at a Wednesday night vespers service at Otter Creek Church. The Rev. Scott Owings, a hospice chaplain who leads the Wednesday night services, put together a PowerPoint presentation of an interview with Goslin. Jones and Krinks also spoke. Some musicians also played Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird, a song that Goslin said he wants played at his funeral.


In the presentation, Goslin writes about feeling that God loved him for the first time in his life. He calls himself a believer and says that Easter and the resurrection of Jesus are the most important part of his faith. He says his faith keeps him from giving up. And he's not afraid.  "I am a believer," he wrote later. "I believe I am here for a reason, I know I am loved and cared for."  When he dies, he wrote, he knows he will be with Jesus. "I know where I am going."


Jones told congregation members at Otter Creek that Goslin has taught her how to be brave despite desperate circumstances and to appreciate the beauty in every day.  "That is what I would say at his funeral, so I decided to tell him now," she said. "The way he finds a way to laugh at whatever circumstances — that has taught me what joy is."  Owings said that Goslin reminds him of a passage from 2 Corinthians: "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."  Goslin may be dying, Owings said, but his life and soul are being healed.  "I think the dying realize how close God is to them," he said. "In our brokenness and in our letting go is where we so often find God."


Still, on bad days, Goslin knows the end is near.  "I feel kinda trapped," he wrote.  On the days when he feels overwhelmed, Krinks and other friends try to comfort him. Krinks said she still has a lot to learn from him.  "I told him, 'Ken, you have a lot be frustrated about and a lot to be fed up with,' " she said. " 'But you still have a lot of loving to do, a lot of stories to tell, and a lot of lives to touch.' "  Goslin's sense of humor often keeps his visitors laughing, even after they leave.  And he doesn't hide his feelings — often poking fun at his situations.  Because he can't eat, he turns off the TV anytime a cooking show comes on. When a staff member from Guardian dropped off more pills for Goslin — he is on at least eight medications — he shook his head in mock disgust.


Goslin said he regrets that it took so long for him to realize that God cares for him.  But he's not afraid anymore.  When asked why, he gave another one-word answer on his note pad.  "Faith."

Bob Smietana, used by permission from The Tennessean - copyright 2011