Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Create Balance....

Balance is an essential element to a fulfilled life, but is very hard to find.  How many days start off with the right intention but by the time it ends, we are just thankful to have survived the day?  I can always tell when I lay down at night if there was balance in my day or if it was "one of those days."  It is safe to say that there will not be a year in our life where all 365 days were completely balanced, but we can do our best to try. 

What does it take to have a balanced life?  Each of us have different things to factor in.  Our beliefs, our families, our friends, careers, hobbies, and personalities.  Finding balance can sometimes feel impossible but I believe the best way to do it is one step at a time.  Some questions to consider are:  Am I truly happy with my life?  Do I feel overwhelmed a majority of the time?  Am I able to rest peacefully at night?  Do I feel like I am lacking anything in my life?  Do I know what my purpose is in life?  The answers to these questions will give us a good start to what areas need improvement in order to feel balanced. 

I know for me, it is the little things that help keep me in balance.  I usually have my morning prayer time in the shower now - I like to multitask - and it is always a really good way to start my day off right and get me in the right frame of mind.  I also have been doing something different on my lunch break at work.  Normally I am talking with coworkers the whole hour, but now I take the last fifteen minutes or so and go outside to this nice park area and sit on one of the benches.  Sure I may look like a loner, but it helps my own sanity to have a few minutes to myself each day.  Spending time with family and friends helps to keep balance in my life as well and I know when it has been awhile since I have been around them.  It is also found in the way I eat, how much I exercise, and if I am staying in line with what I feel to be my life's calling. 

For me, a balanced life includes a strong connection to God.  Knowing that my life is being used by someone much greater than myself helps me to know that I am fulfilling my purpose.  That connection comes from a variety of ways - focus times, church, serving others - and each one helps to keep me centered and focused.  I do believe that God is the Creator of life so who better to guide me in the best way to live it!

What areas of your life do you need more balance?  I know that we are all so busy and many of you have many more responsibilities in life than I do - but I believe that small changes to our schedule or newly formed habits can help us to enjoy life more and get the most out of it.  Do not let excuses get in the way - create balance.

Today I am grateful for:  1.  A good friend who has really helped me on a daily basis this past month  2.  Building upon new friendships at work  3.  Being reminded of the brevity of life and to make the most of every day  4.  Hearing that Martha Ann made a big step in potty training today(her mother is grateful too!)  5.  A great phone call from a really great friend

Monday, August 29, 2011

Thinking Outside of Ourselves....

Wow, I only got one blog in last week!  Sorry about that - my schedule was a little different last week and for whatever reason, I did not do any writing.  However, this is a new week and I should be able to get my four committed posts done!  I hope everyone had a great weekend and is looking forward to a very productive week!  Let's get right to it...

Yesterday at church (it's Monday, so of course this is a church blog), Pastor Pete spoke about our responsibility when it comes to service.  As human beings, our job is to help others when we see a need.  Many times, we get so caught up in our own lives and trying to look out for "number one" that we lose sight of what is going on around us.  I am guilty of this and yesterday was a strong reminder to get back to volunteering, finding opportunities to serve, and paying it forward (subtle reminder that our Pay It Forward day is Saturday, September 17th!) 

There are many reasons as to why we should serve others.  Besides the fact that it is our responsibility, there are two that I want to mention.  The first is the effect that your own heart has when you give of yourself to helping others.  Every time you volunteer, help out a charity, give financially, or help someone going through a hard time - your heart gets bigger and it motivates you to want to do more.  We all know the feeling of seeing someone's face when they are the recipient of an act of kindness, and it really is priceless.  Serving is not about what we get out of it, but the truth is it makes an impact on us as well as them.  The second reason is that we really have no idea the long term impact of one act of kindness.  You can be a part of changing someone's life and they can go on to change other people's lives as well.  Some of the "movers and shakers" of the world are that way because someone intervened in their own life.  That someone took a moment to invest and it literally changed the trajectory of their life.  It might not have happened if they let that opportunity pass them by. 

I cannot stress the importance of serving and getting past our own needs to help others.  Lack of opportunity is not an excuse.  Not enough time is not an excuse.  Lack of resources is not an excuse.  You can google "your city's name and volunteer opportunities" and I promise that plenty of options will come up.  Many of us are busy, but we make the time for those things that are important to us.  Carve out a few hours on a Saturday and I promise that it will be time well spent.  We might not all be able to give huge amounts of money, but most volunteer opportunities do not require any money.  They just need our time and willingness.  I am a part of an organziation called Hands On Nashville.  I love this group because it allows you to find lots of different ways to volunteer and use your own talents and abilities to help out! 

As Pastor Pete shared the various ways that our own church is serving across the world, I wanted to sign up for every one of them!  He also shared some alarming statistics of those in need in our own city and it will make you angry that people in America suffer the way they do.  It is not right and it is up to us to make a difference!  Instead of talking about it, we must put action to our words!  Find an opportunity to do something, anything to be of service!  Allow your eyes to be opened to the reality of the needs of this world and do your part to make positive changes and share God's love with so many who need it. 

One way to do it is through our Pay It Forward Day.  It is Saturday, September 17th and it is all about thinking past ourselves and making an impact on someone else's life.  You can participate in whatever city you live in.  Simply think of one way that you can make a difference in a stranger's life - a random act of kindess.  Then encourage them to pay it forward to someone else!  I am really looking forward to that day and already thinking of what I can do!  I hope you will join me as well!

Today I am grateful for:  1.  A really fun and full weekend  2.  Church on Sunday - so energizing  3.  Good things happening in my family's life  4.  The 3-layer chocolate cake I had last night  5.  The motivation to be used more   

Monday, August 22, 2011

A City Boy Goes to the County Fair.....

I have not been to a county fair since I was a kid.  I guess part of it is due to lack of opportunity and the other part would be due to lack of interest.  I have nothing against them but it is just not something that I normally find myself doing.  Well, I do have a little something against them and I promise I do not mean this in a bad way - but I really do not trust the rides at the fair.  I know that the workers are great people but I just have this fear of getting stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel... and having to climb down.... and tripping... well, you get the picture.  I had the chance to go to the Wilson County Fair over the weekend and it was quite the experience.  Although I knew that I would not be riding any of the rides, I forgot about one thing - the food! 

The Wilson County Fair is the largest fair in Tennessee and I quickly realized that as we proceeded to inch our way towards the parking lot - about ten miles before we got there.  I am one that has a tendency to enter into a bad mood if I go too long without eating.  When I started thinking about what all the fair would have to offer, I decided to starve myself that day to be good and ready.  My mood worsened as we got closer and all I could think was how fast I could rush through the crowd and start devouring everything in sight.  We finally arrived and as we made our way through the entrance - I noticed all the sights, sounds, and smells of the fair and my mood quickly changed from irritable to excited!  Everywhere I looked, there were neon lights begging us to come and explore what awaited.  There were sounds of children - some laughing, some screaming; sounds of parents - some laughing, some screaming; and sounds of carnival barkers wanting to guess my age or my weight, hypnotize me, or asking me to take out a small loan to throw rings on a bottle and win a stuffed animal.  Something about the fair gives us all that nostalgic, childlike wonder - no matter how old you are.   

I have to say that my favorite sense used that night was smell.  The variety of food offered is sure to please any artery-clogging consumer, and I decided to throw out all healthy ideals that I hold dear and live it up!  First on the list were corn dogs, a staple at the fair.  They were delicious and within minutes we found our way to the roasted corn cobs!  The butter dripped off the stalk and the heat burned my tongue but I didn't care.  Of course I had to eat a funnel cake and it brought back fond memories of being a kid.  It never fails that I will take a bite and inhale the powdered sugar at the same time which results in choking and what I think to be my few last moments on earth - but I recovered and we finished the whole cake.  Then came the moment I had been waiting for - something I had never had before and could not wait to try - deep fried Oreos!  I felt like a kid waiting in line and as the nice, older man handed us our order of 6 Oreos, I could barely contain myself.  I picked up the first one and as I took a bite, I felt a small tear roll down my cheek.  The taste of chocolate and Oreo filling wrapped in deep fried batter is indescribable people!  It exceeded my expectations and I highly recommend that you experience this little slice of heaven - at least once in your life. 

We proceeded to walk around and do another one of my favorite things - people watch.  I am not one to judge or talk about stereotypes, but it is just a fact that you will see all kinds of people at a county fair.  All shapes, all sizes, all clothing styles, all ages, all kinds - again, I am more of a "city boy" and most county fairs are just not very "city-fied."  My V-neck tshirt did not exactly fit in with all of the overalls and cowboy hats that I saw.  However, that is all part of the fair.  You almost go back in time when you are there and every once in awhile, that small town feeling is fun.  It ended up being a really fun night and for those who ride the rides - more power to you, but I go for the food.  The deep fried Oreos alone will have me coming back again next year.   

Hope everyone had a great weekend and is looking forward to a great week.  Just a reminder - PAY IT FORWARD DAY is Saturday, September 17th so be thinking about how you can make someone's day a little brighter!  If you haven't already click on the link and "like" the page to gain more information about this event!  http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pay-It-Forward/187761993898

Today I am grateful for:  1.  A very full, fun weekend  2.  All the great food I had at the County Fair  3.  Incredible worship at church Sunday  4.  Being reminded of the importance of community  5.  A good start to the week 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Take That First Step....

Adventurous!  Risk taker!  Spontaneous!     <------------->      Fearful.  Comfortable.  Monotonous.  

Which group would you fit into?  Are you one who loves to try new things and change it up or do you feel better when there is a routine and your life pretty much stays the same?  You might fit somewhere in the middle as well.  I would say that my life fits more to the left although I wish it was all the way to the left.  I do enjoy some routine in my life, but I also love to change things up and take some risks in life.  Those who fit into the first group might actually experience more disappointment in life because they do take risks but they also believe in the motto - better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.  Those who fit into the second group might have a good idea of what is going to happen each day, but they also never open themselves up to experience more. 

I see nothing wrong with being somewhere in between but I do think that if you lean more towards the fearful, comfortable, and monotonous side - then you really are missing out on making the most of your life.  I would bet that all of us can think of something that we would really like to do or experience in life but we believe that it will never actually happen.  Fear of failure keeps many of us from trying something new.  It is true that we might not succeed, but what if we did?  Seeing that idea become a reality really should outweigh whatever it is that holds us back. 

I am the type of person that if I decide that I am going to do something, then I am going to go for it with everything I have.  I love this because it keeps me in line to put action to those thoughts and work towards seeing it accomplished.  However, there is always the chance that it will not happen and I have to be willing to deal with those consequences if it does not.  One example that immediately comes to mind is when I auditioned to be on Oprah's reality show called Your Own Show.  The winner would get their own talk show on Oprah's network and this has been a dream of mine for a long time.  My sisters and I made the trip to Atlanta and I stood in line with thousands of people and gave my 60 second spill on why I would make a great talk show host.  I just knew that I would make it on the show and did everything I could to stand out and make an impact on the producers.  They told us that we would receive a call back that night if we made it to the next round.  I remember my sisters and I went to dinner that night and the entire time, I stared at my phone waiting for it to ring!  It never did and I have to admit that for a little while, I was so disappointed.  My sisters would agree that it was not our most fun dinner together.  However, I was so glad that I at least tried.  I would have regretted it more if I had never even auditioned.  Although that story does not have a happy ending, there are plenty more in my life that do.  The common thread in each one is that I had to take that first step.  And don't worry - one of these days you will be watching the Kevin Buchanan show! 

What is one thing that you really want to do?  Is there something you have always wanted to try but is completely out of the norm for you?  I say go for it!  The regret of not trying at all is far greater than the regret of not succeeding.  It is very true that we all get one shot at life so make a conscious decision to take that next step and see what happens!  It really does keep life exciting.

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Great meal at Qdoba last night (didn't make it to Moe's)  2.  New friendships that are forming at work  3.  Getting to make a small difference in a customer's day  4.  Getting through a cardio workout  5.  Looking forward to a fun weekend!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A Great Quote to Live By....

"A picture is worth a thousand words."  "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."  "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."  "I see dead people."  These are all quotes that we have heard many times.  I googled "famous quotes" and there are thousands of them!  Every once in awhile you hear one and it sticks with you.  I have many that I love, but there is one that I wanted to mention today and make a promise that if you will apply this to your life, it will bring about such freedom and discernment.  It is by Maya Angelou and it says....

                     The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. 

I first heard this a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since.  We have all heard that actions speak louder than words and that is basically what Maya Angelou meant when she said this.  People can say one thing, but the truth of who they are comes though in their actions.  For example, if someone said that they love to exercise, but all they do is sit on the couch and eat potato chips - those actions are speaking much louder than what their words say.  If someone else said that they are always on time for things, but constantly arrive fifteen minutes late - well, they do not really value punctuality.  Someone's actions are what we end up believing, not their words. 

The most important part of this quote is the first three words - the first time.  I know that the argument can be made that people have the ability to change, and I agree with that.  However, many times we rely on a false hope that someone's behavior is going to change.  If we had just believed them the first time, we could have saved ourselves a lot of time and stress.  If someone shows you that they are not trustworthy, believe them the first time.  If someone shows you that they are an abuser, believe them the first time.  If someone shows you that they will betray a friendship, believe them the first time.  This idea also ties in with another quote - Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  If someone behaves in a negative way, do not be surprised when that bad behavior is repeated. 

The oppostite applies as well.  If someone shows that they are honorable, believe them the first time.  If someone shows that they are kind, believe them the first time.  If someone shows that they are a true friend, believe them the first time.  This produces such a positive experience because we know that we can count on a consistent behavior.  Yes, we all have our moments (I know I do!) but for the most part our actions are consistent with our inner beliefs. 

I am sure that we can all think of a time in our life when this quote applied.  I would encourage you to keep this in the back of your mind as you interact with those in your life.  Thanks Maya Angelou for a very impactful quote!!

Today I am grateful for:  1.  An encouraging email I received this morning  2.  Some very interesting conversations with customers at work today  3.  My new iPhone - it's a life changer!  4.  Getting to eat Moe's tonight (the Billy Barou is calling my name!)  5.  Being reminded of the meaning of this great quote. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Just Be Yourself....

How many times have you met someone, gained a first impression, and then as time goes on you discover that they are not at all who you thought they were?  This could be good or bad.  Sometimes you meet someone who comes across very quiet and shy but the more you get to know them you learn that they have a very outgoing side to them and love to talk.  You might also meet someone and think that they are stuck up and come across very arrogant, but the more you are around that person you realize that is not true at all.  Others might be considered a very good friend and then their true colors start shining through and you are very surprised with certain behaviors and it changes the way you see them.  I know that many of us may act a certain way around our family and friends, and then a different way around coworkers or acquaintances - but I am mainly referring to the idea of not being authentic in life - changing your colors depending on the situation and what we think people will like most. 

The topic of authenticity intrigues me because I believe that in one way or another, we all struggle with this at some point in our life.  Why do we do this?  Many times it comes out of a fear that those around us will not accept us unless we blend in or behave a certain way to gain the approval of others.  The problem with "faking it" is that when our true selves surface, and they always do, then it skews our credibility.  The people that I admire the most in life are those who are authentic and have a consistency in who they are, no matter the situation.  I do not want to go too deep into this because sometimes people are just shy or struggle with self-confidence and they might just keep to themselves.  The opposite is true as well.  Sometimes as time goes on, we are surprised in a good way with a person's true persona.  I do believe that as we become more comfortable in our skin, we are able to really live out our true purpose - over the span of our lives as well as on a day to day basis. 

I speak from experience because I have been guilty in the past of hiding parts of myself or trying too hard to blend in simply out of the need for acceptance.  However, as I have evolved as a human being, I have learned that being true to myself is a really good thing.  I had this conversation with my family on Sunday and we talked about how trying to come across as perfect is a very unhealthy thing to do.  No one can live up to that standard so why can't we just be ourselves and not waste time putting up a disguise.  Although I desire to live life with excellence, I gave up trying to be perfect a long time ago.  The ironic part is that our true identity is beautiful and makes us the unique individual that we are.  Our contribution to the world comes from our ability to be our authentic self and connect with others to make a difference. 

So my encouragement to you is this - stop trying to be someone you are not and just be yourself!  Understand that you were created a certain way for a reason!  Do not try to hide behind a mask, but rather embrace who you are - and I guarantee that it will make for a happier, fulfilled life. 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Friends who really are a "help" in my life  2.  Getting more comfortable in my new job  3.  Making a small difference in a customer's day  4.  Beautiful weather outside  5.  Learning more about my authentic self 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Family Matters....

Yesterday was a great family day!  With my new job and the "busyness" of life, I do not get to see my family as much as I would like.  I have been looking forward to yesterday for a few weeks now because one of my uncles emailed me saying he wanted to come visit and hang out with me and my sisters and our families.  He is one of my dad's brothers and due to distance, we do not get to see his side of the family as much.  It is always good to be with any of them because not only are we all very close, but they remind me of my dad in many ways.  So lunch was planned at my house and I was prepared to serve a delicious meal!  I seem to learn something every time I try and prepare a big meal for a group of people and yesterday was no exception.  If you are making lasagna with chicken sausage, let me advise you not to substitute the chicken sausage with smoked sausage.  Just spend the extra dollars!  Although everyone told me that it was good, it tasted more like hot dogs in there instead of sausage.   Oh well, all the extra cheese and Alfredo sauce helped disguise the substitute and we made it through the meal! 

Family is such an important part of my life and anytime we are together, you know it is going to be a really good day.  It was great to see my uncle and get caught up on what is going on in all of our lives.  Seeing my sisters is always fun and you can count on lots of laughter while we are together.  And of course, seeing Martha Ann and Wylie (my niece and nephew) completely makes my day!  I have to say that Martha Ann is now calling me by name "K-K" and I heard her say it for the first time yesterday - at first she would not do it (I think it was on purpose) but then she ended up saying it many times throughout the day.  There were a couple of times yesterday that I just sat and thought about how blessed I am to have such an incredible family!  We are by no means perfect and I am actually going to talk some about that tomorrow - but we love getting together and hanging out.  I know that many of you know exactly what I am talking about and many of you did not grow up with a close-knit family.  I never take it for granted and will always consider it one of the aspects of my life that I am most grateful for. 

I think the word "family" can take on various meanings.  There is our biological family but many of us have close friends that we would consider our family.  Those people that we work with might be considered a family of sorts as well.  We spend more time with them than we do our own families!  As the definition of a family broadens, it is really important for us to realize that everyone needs someone that they can call family.  Whoever you consider your family - I encourage you to never take that for granted.  Make the most of those moments and make sure that they know how much they mean to you.  Yes, they might drive you crazy at times (I could tell some stories) but that is normal.  Who we surround ourselves with greatly influences our life and I hope to be as much of a "good thing" in my family's lives as they are in mine.

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Amazing music at church yesterday  2.  Spending the day with family  3.  Hearing Martha Ann say my name  4.  Seeing how much Wylie is growing up  5.  Really beautiful weather today

Friday, August 12, 2011

Getting Realistic About Life....

Yes, on Monday of this week I did commit wholeheartedly to writing a blog four days a week - Monday through Thursday.  Yes, it only took four days to break that commitment.  Yes, that does make me somewhat of a slacker but I am going to be honest with you.  Ready?  I got home from work earlier than usual yesterday (even more time to write, I know).  I had the house to myself (really no reason not to write, I know).  However, I chose to enjoy that time to myself and get caught up on a few TV shows and relax.  So I may not have a valid reason not to have kept my commitment but I did want to write something today to help make up for that!  My sincere apologies. 

I have always believed that honesty is the best policy.  I know that there might be exceptions to the rule, but I would much rather hear the truth than not.  Many people in my life would say that I give honest feedback.  There is good and bad to that.  If you ask me a question and do not want to hear the truth, then please do not ask me.  I am not mean about it, and I do have your best interests at heart but I just believe in giving people honest opinions or advice.  To be that kind of person means that I have to be open to honest feedback about my own life.  I am not always as open as I should be to receiving it, but I am constantly trying to improve.  There are a few people in my life that can get away with telling me what I really need to hear without getting a backlash in return.  I was fortunate enough to have one of those truthful conversations yesterday with one of those in my inner circle. 

I am a dreamer and love to think big when it comes to what I want out of life and what I believe to be my purpose.  There is nothing wrong with that, but at times I do need to be more focused in how I will accomplish those goals.  I can see clearly where I want to be and what I desire out of life, but now is the time where I have to be very specific in how I will get there.  Without a detailed plan and the ability to make short term goals, then the bigger picture gets fuzzy and the end goal seems much more distant.  Let me give an example.  One of my goals at the beginning of the year was to be financially stable and feel good about how I handle my money.  Due to circumstances with my previous job, it has made this resolution harder to become reality.  Although I can see how my life will be when I get there, I can't be stupid with my money now and think that I will be OK.  It requires sitting down, making a budget, developing short-term goals, and being very disciplined.  Of course I would rather eat out a lot, go to the movies every day, and shop till I drop but that would be stupid at this point.  Later on, once I am a best-selling author (or the next Oprah), I can enjoy the finer things in life.  This is what my friend and I talked about yesterday and although I may not always want to hear it, I took it in and knew that it was truth in my life.  This weekend I will be writing out my budget and plans for the remainder of the year. 

For those of you who know what you want out of life, and especially if those desires seem out of reach, I strongly encourage you to see how you will realistically get there.  I am all for positive thinking, dreaming big, and having a firm belief in the answer - but balance that with a realistic approach to how you will get there.  This weekend, think about a goal you have made, and write out a step by step plan to how you will get there.  Every time you achieve one of the steps, cross it off and keep going!  In doing so, the "one step at a time" approach will make that dream a reality and your life will be more fulfilled!

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Today being Friday  2.  The delicious food I enjoyed at the potluck lunch at work  3.  My coworkers - our team has so much fun  4.  The real conversation yesterday  5.  Setting small goals to accomplish the big goal

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Pay It Forward Day!!

A date has been set for the official Pay It Forward Day!  It will be Saturday, September 17th and can happen any time during that day.  I wanted to use today's blog to help explain a little more and hopefully get lots of people ready to participate!

The idea of paying it forward may be familiar to you.  There was a movie by the same title that was really good (the one with Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey, and Haley Joel Osment).  Oprah has done many shows on this topic and the idea has really become popular over the years.  The concept is simple.  When someone shows an act of kindness and generosity to you, then you should pay it forward to someone else.  Many times our reaction is to return the favor to the one who gave it, but paying it forward keeps the momentum going - giving it a domino effect.  We all know what it feels like when someone does something nice for you, but I truly believe that the greater feeling is being the one who shows kindness.  Knowing that you made a positive difference in someone's day - possibly even their life - is beyond anything they could give you in return!

So this is the challenge going out to everyone:  Begin now to think about something you could do on September 17th that would make a positive difference in someone's day.  Although it is not required, I would encourage you to do it for someone you do not know.  Examples could be anything from paying for someone's meal at the drive-thru - volunteering for a charity - sending flowers to a deserving person "anonymously" - helping someone out with their bills - leaving a note of encouragement to a coworker - the list goes on and on!  Since we have a few weeks before it will happen, you can really get creative with this!  It does not have to cost money either.  The fun part is the surprise element because it really changes someone's day.  And don't forget to tell the recipient to pay it forward to someone else.  You can tell them in person or give them a note but it is really important to do that so the full effect works. 

The other great part about this event is that everyone can do it wherever they live and we will all know that all kinds of random acts of kindness are being done on the same day - that's a lot of love going out into the world!  I am really excited about this and already thinking about what I can do on that day - Saturday, September 17th.   

I am using the Pay It Forwad facebook page to help unite us in our efforts.  If you have not done so, go to the link below and "like" the page.  I also challenge you to suggest the page to 25 facebook friends as well.  It is really easy to do - go to the "invite friends" link on the right hand side of the page and from there you can send the link to as many friends as you like.  The more people that are involved the better!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pay-It-Forward/187761993898?ref=hnav&__user=1069948259

Thanks to everyone who have agreed to participate so far.  I will continue to promote the idea on my blog as well as the facebook page - but don't wait until then to do something good - look for small ways every day to make a difference!

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Waking up to a new day  2.  Making great progress at my new job  3.  Finding out that my niece said my name for the first time today!  4.  A really good work-out  5.  The possibilities of the Pay It Forward Day

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

It's Different When It's Real....

I need to start off with something I forgot to include in yesterday's blog.  I talked about the Pay It Forward page on facebook and then neglected to put the link into the post.  I do apologize and hope that you will go to it today and click on "like" and then share it with other friends!  The link is:  http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pay-It-Forward/187761993898.  I did not realize it until I went back and read my own blog - maybe I should do that more often!   

I started a new job about three weeks ago and today it became real!  My position is in the financial services call center, which is something I have never done before.  We have been in training since day one and today our trainer threw us a curve ball when she said that we would take a few "live" calls!  We have been learning the systems, taking practice calls with each other, and I have to admit that I was feeling pretty good about myself until she said "live" call.  All of the sudden I felt like I had forgotten everything I had learned and had that nervous feeling in my stomach.  I wasn't even sure how to work the phones anymore!  The entire class went into a panic mode.  Although we had been practicing and learning for weeks, it was all different now that we had to actually talk to someone.  We paired up with a colleague and my partner could tell that I was nervous but she also served as a good encourager and help if I needed her.  I took more than enough time to look at the customer's account and try to feel confident and prepared before I made the call.  Finally, I pushed send on the phone and it rang... and rang.. and rang.  Voicemail saved the day!   I was somewhat relieved, but knew that I had to go to the next customer on the list.  Finally after calling three or four customers and getting their voicemail, I was frustrated and actually wanted to talk to an actual person.  Someone finally picked up on the last call and it was somewhat successful.  I say somewhat because my trainer did have a few suggestions for me, but overall it went good and definitely helped to calm my nerves.  I was one of the first ones to actually speak to someone so the class applauded for me - which was quickly quieted by the trainer.  I am sure that each day it will get easier and before we long we will wonder why we every questioned ourselves, but it was really funny how the tone of my outgoing, carefree class changed the minute we heard - "let's take some live calls!"

I was going to try and make this story a metaphor for life, but according to one of my readers - some of my blogs are too "Oprah-ish" (you know who you are!) so I will just let everyone take what they want from this one! 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Cooler weather today  2.  Learning more about some of my colleagues and their lives  3.  Getting a haircut (it really needed it, so yes we are all thankful for that one!)  4.  Making a new neighborhood friend in an unexpected way  5.  Surviving the live calls :)  

Monday, August 8, 2011

What Really Matters....

There are a few things that I want to cover today, so let’s get right to it.  First off – I have done some research on what makes an effective blog.  I love writing and this blog really does allow me to exercise a passion that I have, but I also want to make sure that it makes a positive and effective impact on you, the reader.  I have found many factors, but one is to set a commitment with your reader and stick to it.  Those of you that have been readers since the beginning know that I have not been as consistent with how many blogs I post each week.  Remember at the beginning of the year when I set out to blog every single day?!  What was I thinking?!  My desire is to be consistent, but also realistic in my goal.  Therefore, this is my commitment to you – I will post four blogs a week, Monday through Thursday, and take the weekends off.  It is achievable for me and hopefully gives you an idea of what to expect each week.  I really appreciate each one of you that reads this and my desire is to encourage you, challenge you, cause you to think about your own life, and laugh every now and then too. 

It’s Monday so you know I can’t let the day go by without mentioning Sunday’s message at church.  It was on Presents versus Presence and it posed the question of what we desire most.  The pastor asked if we desired God’s presence more than His presents.  If all of the things were taken away from us, would the presence of God be enough for us?  It is something to think about because many of our prayers consist of asking God for stuff rather than asking Him to simply teach us and mold us into who He wants us to be.  This concept also applies to our relationships with people.  The pastor read a letter that a young woman had written about her father and read at his funeral.  In it, she thanked her father for the time he spent with her, the laughs that they shared, the lessons that she learned from him, and the memories that she will always remember.  Not once did she mention any birthday gifts, cars, college education that he paid for, or any material possessions.  What mattered in the end was the time that he invested with her, not the presents that she received.  As the pastor read the letter, I couldn’t help but think about my own father and how what I remember most about his life is the time he spent with us and the lessons I learned from watching him.  There is nothing wrong with things, and I am not trying to start a ban on birthday and Christmas presents ( I am sure there would be an uproar), but we need to always keep in mind what is going to matter in the end.  Whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, or strangers that we meet in passing – what are they going to remember most about their time with us?  This is not to get us to focus on the “after we are gone” part; but rather what we are doing now.  Think about those people in your life now and what you remember most about them.  Is it their presents or their presence? 

I am also continuing to work on the Pay It Forward Day!  It will be a day set aside where everyone will focus on doing one act of kindness towards someone and instead of getting anything in return; you ask them to do something nice for someone else.  I am still working on the day, but for now I would encourage you to go to the Pay It Forward facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Pay-It-Forward/187761993898.  Click “like” if you have not already.  Also, there is a place to share the page with your friends – it would be great if you also recommended the page to others so that we can get as many people involved as possible!  The great thing about it is that it can be done in your own hometown and these acts of kindness will be happening in various places all on the same day!   So when you finish reading this blog, make sure and “like” the page on facebook and it will serve as the main source for information in the days ahead.    

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Hanging out with some great friends Saturday and enjoying the delicious dinner that she made!  2.  Church Sunday – always energizing and motivating  3.  Taking Axel to the dog park and watching him try to act like he owns the place  4.  Meatless Monday today!  5.  Those people in my life whom I will definitely remember more for their presence

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Santa Isn't Real? And Other Things I Know For Sure...

What do you know for sure?  If you had to make a list of things you know without a doubt, what would you write down?  There are many ideas that we believe to be truth when we are younger, and then life reveals the reality of itself and we are able to differentiate between what is ideal and what is the cold hard truth.  Life experience plays a major role in forming our list of what we know for sure.  A simple but classic example would be the idea of Santa Claus.  When I was a kid, I was 100% sure that he came during the night on Christmas Eve, ate our cookies and milk, and left us presents for the next morning.  I would either go to the mall before Christmas to let him know what I wanted or I would mail him a letter to the North Pole.  Santa Claus was very real to me and had I known that it was actually Mom and Dad putting my toys together, or Dad taking care of that midnight snack, I would have been devastated.  My innocence was later robbed from me one day when my grandmother (I call her Mamaw) and I were talking about Christmas.  She casually made a comment about Santa not being real and my verbal reply was that I knew that.  However, as a child I was dying inside and could not believe what I had just heard!  That is a vivid memory that I have and any former “Santa-believer” knows that it changes what you know for sure about Christmas.  It also makes you look at your parents (and Mamaw) a little differently but after awhile you realize that they are not pathological liars, but rather creating a magical time for us as children. 

As life continues you continue to learn what you can and cannot count on in life.  Some might be less complex such as the idea of Santa Claus, but some are difficult to learn.  Some are very positive and some are negative.  Life is a constant learning process but as we evolve as a person, we learn that there are things that we can know for sure. 

>What I know for sure is that we are each given one chance at life and what we make of that opportunity is up to us.  There are many factors such as family, friends, environment, and beliefs that influence our lives but it is up to us to fulfill our purpose in the world.

>I know for sure that positive actions produce more positive results and negative actions produce more negative results.  Show love and you will get love in return.  Let your mind worry and more reasons to worry will come your way. 

>I know for sure that there is no greater power known to man than the love of God.  Love shared between family and friends is powerful but it cannot complete us or see us the way God’s love does. 

>I know for sure that when life tries to beat you down, how you react to that will make all the difference in the world.  If you let circumstances get the best of you, then you will get depressed and have a hard time getting back on track.  However, if you stay optimistic and focus your energy on the end result, it will make a world of difference.

>I also know for sure that chocolate makes any day better and the cocoa bean is one of God’s greatest creations.

So what do you know for sure?  We all know that death and taxes are for certain, but what else has life taught you?  What we know for sure helps to build the foundations of our life.  I could add many other things to my list, but I encourage you to take a minute and think about what you would write down.  There are constants in life and things that we can depend on so use those truths to form a deeper and more empowered life. 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  A little bit of relief from yesterday’s heat wave  2.  The egg white scramble with spinach and tomato I had for breakfast  3.  Getting through the Killer Workout tonight at the gym   4.  My training class and how much fun we have  5.  The things in my life that I know for sure


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I've Got a Great Idea....

If you know me or have been reading my blog, I hope that one thing that you could say about me is that I am a big believer in paying it forward!  If for some reason, you are unfamiliar with that phrase, it happens when someone does something nice for you.  Instead of returning the favor to them, you pay it forward to someone else.  One thing that I love about this concept is that it teaches us to give to others and expect nothing in return.  We all know those who will do a good deed for someone but the motive behind the action is to get an even better deed returned to them.  If they are going to give, then they want something in return.  Paying it forward keeps our motives clean and also spreads the kindness to many others – like a domino effect.  I grew up being taught this and have had many opportunities over the years to see how great it is to make a difference in someone else’s life.  Whether it is a small thing or giving big, the result is the same.  That act changes someone’s day, or even their life and no material possession can equal the feeling that you get inside from experiencing that!    

I have had an idea for awhile to promote a Pay It Forward day and ask people to come up with one thing that they could do that day to make a difference.  It might be something such as sending a card to someone, surprising a friend with flowers, paying for a stranger’s meal at the drive-thru, helping out a charity, or paying bills for a deserving person.  It does not have to cost money – it is simply about an act of kindness that is unexpected and changes someone’s day in a positive way.  When you have completed the act, you tell them to pay it forward to someone else.  I actually get really excited thinking about it because it is such a great thought to know that lots of people are uniting together on a particular day to bring about some positive energy in the world!  I think that it should be a natural part of our lives, but at times we forget and need to be reminded of the importance of serving others. 

My plan is to pick a day, probably a Saturday, in the next couple of months and then start spreading the word to as many people as I possibly can.  We can begin thinking of what we could do and who we could surprise on that day.  I am going to work on the details and how it could be a more effective and united effort but I wanted to share my initial thoughts with all of you and see what you thought.   I know that many of you already this so it will be a great way to share with others and motivate them to participate.  This is definitely going to happen and I am smiling already thinking about what could come out of this!  Don’t wait for the actual day to share love with someone.  I promise that if you ask for opportunities to come your way, then they will, and you have to be ready to respond and pay it forward!

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Being inside during the 101 degree temperature  2.  Getting more comfortable with my job  3.   Chocolate pretzels I had today  4.  Surviving spin class tonight – omg, it was intense!   5.  All the reasons why I should pay it forward!

 

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Everyone Has a Story....

Everyone has a story.  For any of you that watch Kathie Lee and Hoda in the mornings, you know that they have a segment every week with the same title.  They have a person or family on that have been through a difficult circumstance and each story has a happy ending.  Although the experiences are really good and the people they have on always deserve the recognition, the song itself has become somewhat of a joke.  The best one was when the guest musician was singing the song, written by Kathie Lee, and the camera shows Kathie Lee crying and then pans over to the family where the kids are jumping on the couch and fighting with each other and the mom is trying her best to be the referee.  I believe it was more of a moment for Kathie Lee than it was for the family that was on – but it still makes for funny TV and I am all for that!  No, I am not making fun of the segment – just how it turns out sometimes. 

My point in bringing that up is this - every person does have a story and there is something to be learned from their life.  My fellow trainees and I have only known each other for seven days now, but we have quickly become good friends.  There is a wide mix of people which always makes for an interesting group.  I love hearing about how other people live out their lives and understanding what is important to them.  One who is a mother and really understands the importance of that role, one who moved to Nashville a week before she started working and is learning not only her new job but how to navigate through a big city, and there is one who writes science fiction novels.  They each have a unique story that brought them to this chapter in their life.  As the days have progressed it has been enlightening to hear a twist in someone’s story, simply based on first impressions.  The one I would call the class clown recently donated a kidney to his sister.  One of the quieter ones in the group loves to sing and is auditioning for a Broadway play.  It is the variety among people that helps keep life exciting and moving. 

We do learn from other people’s stories.  Their mistakes can keep us from doing the same.  Learning how someone overcame obstacles in their life gives us hope that we can do the same.  Seeing someone accomplish so much motivates us to dream bigger dreams for our own lives.  This is why we should not be afraid to open up and allow people to see the great moments of our life as well as those times that we struggled.  You never know how it will affect someone else and really impact how they move about in the world. 

What I love about life is that we are writing our story as we go.  Although I do believe that God has a plan for each of us and knows how our life will turn out – we do not have that ability; therefore, we have to trust and believe that we can follow something much greater than ourselves.  Understand that your life is important and you matter to others – probably more so than you realize.  It is true – everyone has a story, what’s yours?

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Loving my new job  2.  Making new friends  3.  Hearing their stories  4.  A really great work-out tonight  5.  A hilarious phone call with my bff, Autumn last night

Monday, August 1, 2011

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff....

Hopefully everyone had a great weekend and a good start to the week!  I will apologize up front if this blog is not as cohesive as some.  I just finished a fitness class at the gym called “The Killer Workout” and it definitely lived up to its name!  My thoughts are not as clear at the moment and I look like someone who is at the point of death but I am determined to write so I will do so while I recuperate. 

I want to know if anyone relates to a certain character flaw that I struggle with.  It is not the easiest thing to admit our weaknesses (or opportunities as they call it at work) but recently I have noticed how this one little thing seems to creep to the surface and try to ruin my day.  It is the ability to make a big deal out of something small - taking a situation and over analyzing it - making a mountain out of a mole hill.  There are many ways to phrase it but I think we all know what I am talking about.  I will say that I have made improvements in this area, but sometimes it shows back up and makes me want to slap myself (and no, I do not need anyone to slap me, but thanks)! 

Over the weekend, a couple of small things happened that for whatever reason really irritated me.  There was nothing wrong in and of itself, but in my head I let it grow into this “real housewives” drama (Unfortunately I have seen a few episodes and they are masters at this).  Instead of just letting it go and seeing it for what it really is, I thought too much about it and over analyzed it to the point that it just wasted time in my day.  I know I should be more specific about the situation to help better clarify the example – but I want you to fill in the blanks with your own experience because I am sure we all have them.  So when one thing puts us into that bad frame of mind, little things throughout the day start to seem worse than what they are and before we know it we want to literally chew someone’s head off!  That was me and honestly, I cannot even remember what the small things were which proves that it is petty, petty, petty.  Well, the boiling point for me (don’t laugh) was when I was watching TV and Axel (the dog) was misbehaving and ran up to me and bit me on the leg!  He has never really bit me like that but you would have thought that he chewed up my most prized possession or something by the way I reacted.  I started yelling and picked him up and threw him in the cage for the rest of the night.  Then I walked out the door and just walked around outside for a couple of minutes to cool down.  I mean seriously, talk about over-reacting?!  It did not even make a mark on my leg.  Poor Axel had to take the beat-down because of my frustrations throughout the day.  And before PITA reads this, I did not hurt him, just scolded him enough so that he knows that biting is not allowed.  Isn’t that how it happens though?  We let little things frustrate us and let it build up so much that when some innocent person (or animal) walks by and says something just a little off, we turn into this possessed person!

This morning I thought about how I let little things get to me and if I would just see things for what they really are or focus more on the big picture, then it would make for a much less stressful time – and Axel would have more play time as well.  I just need to stop and take a breath sometimes.  Before anyone over analyzes this blog, I am not some crazy person that you have to walk on eggshells around – I just have my moments of letting my mind run crazy.  After the fact, it is humorous to think about, but I hope that in the future I will just let things be and understand that life is too short to get caught up in the pettiness of the day. 

Today I am grateful for:  1.  Church yesterday and hearing about our responsibility with money (more to come I am sure)  2.  The nachos at Blue Coast Burrito  3.  Another great day at the new job  4.  Surviving the Killer Workout class  5.  Learning from life’s situations