There's A Line Between Staring and Stalking

OK, one of my favorite things to do is people watch!  If I am at a restaurant, out shopping, at work, at a party, anywhere there are people then you can bet that I will be watching.  That sounds a little stalkerish but I promise I am not a creeper!  However,  I have noticed a few times that I will be staring at someone or a group of people and then get caught - awkward!  What's really bad is when it takes a few seconds for me to realize that I have been caught.  That is usually when someone gets up and moves, walks a little faster, or grabs their children.  It is all innocent, I promise, but I just find it both fascinating and hilarious to watch other people.

My morning routine has changed somewhat and I now spend about an hour at Panera Bread (love that place!) before going to work.  It does require getting up earlier and I have become a coffee addict but I use the time to write and possibly do some people watching.  My mind does seem to take it a step further than just staring.  Just yesterday I noticed a father and his two children enjoying a nice breakfast together.  In my mind I thought about how great this dad was to get the kids out of the house in order to give their mom a much deserved chance to sleep in.  I also thought about how horrified the mom would be if she saw her kids right then because they were having the time of their lives running around and the little girl's hair had obviously not been brushed before leaving the house!  I watched another guy sitting at a table, obviously waiting to meet someone that he had not met before - maybe a job interview?  He stared at me when I walked in (how creepy) but then realized I was not the person.  He even asked another person that walked in if they were "John" and they said no.  Finally, "John" walked in and they began their interview for what I imagined to be a great job.  What if I had said - yes, I am John.  I might have gotten the job and begun a completely different life!  Until he discovered that I was not really John and then it would have become really awkward. 

I believe that people watching helps to satisfy a curiosity about life that I have.  Some have said that I am just too nosy, but I prefer to use the word curious.  (OK, I just had a debate with myself on whether it is spelled nosy or nosey.  According to the dictionary, both are acceptable, but nosy is the most common spelling.  I am a stickler for correct spelling so I would hate to be called out on such a word!)  Anyway, I am a very curious person.  I always wonder what someone's story is.  I remember a particular Oprah show a few years ago that stressed what Oprah believes and I would agree- that everyone has a story.  She threw a dart at a board which had the seating arrangement for the entire studio audience on it.  Wherever the dart landed, she would do a show on that person showcasing their life and story.  It turned out to be such an interesting story of a random audience member.  (Of course I wanted that audience member to be me, but that's beside the point).  And anyone who loves Kathie Lee and Hoda knows the irritating song - Everyone Has A Story - that Kathie Lee sings.  They also tell the story of someone who has been through something horrible but came through it a much better person.  Although the song drives me crazy, the idea is great! 

This all leads me to my final point.  One of my goals this year is to tell other people's stories in the hope that we can learn from them, be encouraged by their life, and broaden our view of the world.  Beginning next month, I plan to start "interviewing" various people - it might be a family member, a friend, a reader of my blog, or maybe a random stranger and ask them what their story is.  It would be great for me to hear from others and I am sure you wouldn't mind hearing about someone else's life besides mine (don't get too excited). 

The next time you are out at a public setting, take some time to do some people watching.  Just don't stare too long.  You probably should not observe me people watching because I tend to come across more as a stalker.  You have to be discreet about it.  I will say it is a lot of fun and you never know what you might learn from it. 

Tomorrow is our first give-a-way!  Make sure and check back to see who will receive a Targer gift card!!! 

Making It Rain Up In Here

If you have read my blog for any amount of time, you probably know that I love, love, love the church that I attend.  I have been going to Crosspoint Church here in Nashville for almost a year now and it has greatly enhanced my life.  Yesterday, Pastor Pete approached the the topic of money.  In most churches, people usually look for the nearest exit when the pastor starts talking about money because they assume that he will be asking the members (and even the visitors sometimes) to give more money - and most of the time they are right.  However, knowing Pastor Pete's heart and the overall goal of Crosspoint I was not too concerned about looking for an escape route.  What I did not expect though was how convicted I would be in other ways. 

Let me give a little background information about myself.  This is one of those times where I need to admit one of my flaws (yes, it's hard to believe) but I agreed to be upfront and honest in my blog and know that I can learn from my own vulnerability.  I know people who are very money smart, budget oriented, and financially stable.  I have much respect for these people because for whatever reason, I am not that kind of person.  I have come a long way in my learning and am more conscious of my financial stability and instability - but I still have much to learn and achieve when it comes to finances.  I guess I did not pay attention when I was younger and it has shown here and there in my adulthood.  The good news is that things are on the up and up (don't worry - there will be no link at the bottom asking for donations!) but I have had to struggle at times because of poor choices that I made when it came to money. 

Pastor Pete spoke about money and giving and greed.  He made the point that many of us struggle with giving - whether it is to the church, to people in our lives, or just life in general - because we lack the faith to believe and the perspective of who claims ownership in our lives in the first place.  We are afraid to give because we look at our bank balance and either think that there is not enough or that what is in there is rightfully ours and not there to share. I do believe that we should give financially to the church that we attend.  Last year I was sporadic in my giving for the very reason that I did not think I had enough to pay bills and give.  This year, one of my resolutions is to give each week - not only to the church but to other organizations and people as the opportunity arises. 

The statement that was made Sunday that really stuck out to me was when Pete said - If you do not give when you make $22,000 a year then what makes you think you will give when you make $44,000 a year or $144,000 a year?  This was not anything new to me, but I was immediately drawn to thoughts I have all the time when it comes to money and giving.  I have said to myself, family, and friends many times that I would like to be famous - not for the sake of being famous, but to have a larger platform to make a bigger difference in the world.  I have also said that if I had more financial resources - either from fame, or career, or Publisher's Clearing House knocking on my door (wouldn't that be great!) - I am confident that I would share so much of it with others and give, give, give.  I do believe that I have the right intentions and that my motives are good for wanting fame or more money but when Pastor Pete made that statement - I felt as thought the entire room grew dark and the spotlight was shining bright on my life.  What am I doing with the financial resources that I do have right now?  Am I being faithful to give to my church each week?  Am I giving to those in need?  Am I sharing what I do have with others keeping in mind that what I do have is really not mine to own anyway?  (Read that last sentence one more time)  It is not the first time in church that I wanted to stand up and shout - OK, I hear you!  I get the point!  I am not wealthy but how am I using the money that I have been given?  I am not famous (not yet, at least) but how am I using the opportunities I have been given to impact others?  If I am not using what I have now - what in the world makes me think that I would be given more?

That is what we have to remember people!  Our money, our resources, our material possessions mean nothing if we are not using them to make a difference in the lives of others.  It is true that it really does not belong to us in the first place.  There is nothing wrong with having nice things but if it is all about us and what we are accumulating, then it creates a very shallow and unfulfilled life.  We have all heard that we live in the wealthiest of countries and that many who make meager salaries in our country are rich compared to millions of others across the world.  We must realize the importance of giving and to not wait until we have more - but give now with what we do have.  One thing I love about our pastor is the way he ended his message.  He said that he did not care if we gave our money to Crosspoint or not.  Those who do give to the church get caught up in the percentage sometime.  We may give 10% or 20% or 5%.  His encouragement was not in the rules, but that we would experience the joy that comes through giving - not just financially - but of our time and abilities as well. 

I walked away with a strong reminder to be faithful with what I have now.  I cannot keep waiting for what might happen in the future.  I need to make sure I am giving now.  My encouragement would be the same for you.  No matter if you are living paycheck to paycheck or have an abundance of wealth - I challenge you to give, to not be greedy, to not come up with excuses - and see how it changes your life. 


Don't forget this Wednesday is the drawing for the Target gift card!!  Make sure you are a follower of the blog and I will announce the winner this Wednesday, February 1st!!

Who Likes Free Stuff? and Kevin's Monthly Review

Target is one of my favorite stores and next Wednesday, February 1st, I will be giving away a Target gift card to one lucky person!  All you have to do is become a follower of the blog.  Simply click on the link to the right and become a follower today.  This is just a small way for me to say THANKS to all of you who follow along as I ramble on about my own life journey.  I will be doing these once a month and each month's prize will get better and better!  Can you imagine what it will be like by December?  YOU GET A CAR!  YOU GET A CAR!  Wait - I'm not at Oprah's level (not yet at least!) so let's all think smaller - YOU GET A COFFEE MUG!  YOU GET A COFFEE MUG!  Yes, that's more like it.  I assure you that each give-a-way will be good.  They will always be one of my favorite things!  Target is a great way to start!  Don't worry - my family members are ineligible for any prizes (they don't know that yet).

   

I also want to include a review each month of a favorite book, movie, TV show - or anything that I have been a part of and think that you should as well!  I am trying to think of a good name for it - Kevin's Monthly Review?  Kevin's Recommendation?  Kevin's Critique?  If you have any good ideas, let me know!  This month it will be a book.  I recently read a New York Times Bestseller - Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.  This is one of those books that is so well written and it leaves such an impression on the reader.  The author is Jonathan Safran Foer.  This was my first time reading one of his books and I was instantly intrigued by his style of writing.  The story takes place during the September 11th attacks and centers around a nine year old boy named Oskar Schell.  His father is killed after being trapped in one of the towers and Oskar comes home to find five voicemail messages left from his father during what he refers to as "the worst day."  Oskar later finds a key left behind by his father and he begins a mission to find out what that key unlocks.  That is only the beginning of the story and there is so much more that it entails but I do not want to give too much away.  There is really SO much more to the story and it has such a beautiful ending.  There are themes of love, relationship, loss, dealing with loss, and the bond between father and son.  I found myself laughing and crying and looking for any chance to keep reading it.  I highly recommend it and hope that you are as in awe as I was by the end of the story.

The book has been made into a movie starring Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock and I did go see it a couple of weekends ago.  As with any book turned movie - the book is so much better and the movie leaves so much out.  But I did enjoy the movie and the kid who plays Oskar is an amazing actor - and it is his first time acting which is crazy!  I would recommend that you see the movie first and then read the book.  If not, then just go into the movie with an open mind.  They are both very moving, intense, and emotional so be prepared.  Below is the trailer to the movie.

 

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I will see you back here on Monday!


This week I am grateful for:  1.  Encouragement from readers of my blog that motivates me to keep going with this passion  2.  A great phone conversation with my sister Cara and hearing about all the good things going on in her life  3.  Time to work on my new book and excitement about the direction it is going  4.  Looking forward to being off work Saturday and actually having a 2 day weekend  5.  A great first month to the new year

What I Have Learned About Life So Far....

I am going to be honest.  I found this "blog in progress" from a couple of months ago.  I never finished it but I thought it would work well for today.  I am 36 years old and proud of it!  As I look back at my journey so far, there are many life experiences I have had, lessons I have learned, and goals I have accomplished.  I like writing things out so I thought I would share some lessons I have learned from my own life about my own self, others, and life in general.

>  One of the most powerful forces in life is a spirit of gratitude.  I am convinced that staying focused on what is good in life will bring about even better things.  It would take countless pages to write down all the things that I am grateful for, but each day I am reminded of what truly is good in life - and that every good and perfect gift comes from God.  I have said it many, many times before but I encourage each of you to write down five things every day that you are grateful for - it will greatly enhance your life - I promise!   

>  Family is something we should never take for granted.  I was blessed to have a father who led by example and even though he is not physically here with us, he still makes an impact on my life.  I have a mom who encourages and prays for me daily - and makes a difference in the lives of others on a daily basis.  I have two sisters that mean the world to me and a little niece and nephew who bring a new joy to life every time I see them.  I know that all families are not as close and for some it may not be the biological people that you call family.  We should never miss an opportunity to show love to whomever we call family. 

>  Friendships are vital to a fulfilled life.  I have true friendships that are genuine, loyal, and trustworthy.  I have friends that are also crazy and make life a lot of fun.  We all need people in our life that truly know us for who we are and even at our worst, still call us their friend. 

>  When someone shows you who they are - believe them!  This lesson is so true and if applied correctly, can help to surround yourself with the right people and weed out those who would not benefit your life.  I have learned this lesson many times want to scream it out to others! 

>  There is a lot of fun to be had in life!  I do not take myself too seriously (Tuesday's blog may make you think differently) but I really do have a lot of fun with life and love to see the humorous side.  If life gets you down, if you are stressed, if someone puts the toilet paper on the roll the wrong way - take a deep breath, turn up some music, and dance!  My little niece loves to dance and it reminds me to have fun with life - it's hard to dance with a frown, right? 

>  Chocolate is truly a great love in my life!  Especially dark chocolate!  It seriously has such a positive effect on my attitude and just life in general.  I get excited when I see it, and it always puts a smile on my face.  Who's with me?! 

>  Life does not always go according to plan.  When I look back over the years, there are many moments that did not go as I thought they would, but what I have learned is that you cannot give up - you must keep going and it will get better.  As someone who likes to be in control, this is not always easy but when I look back at certain moments that did not go as I thought they needed to - it turned out much better than I could have planned.  Remember - God has a bigger dream for us than we can dream for ourselves.  And we never know when a small detour in the road will lead us to something great! 

>  Instead of judging others for their differences, we should celebrate it!  As I have become more of my authentic self, I have become even more aware that uniqueness is a beautiful thing and that in our differences we are actually united.  We are all much more similar than we are different.  As we talked about yesterday, get to know someone who is different than you.  It will broaden your life and allow you to see the world for what it truly is. 

What have you learned in your own life?  Because none of us are perfect (I know - it's a hard truth to learn!) and life is a journey filled with unknowns - we all learn as we go.  If you have a particular lesson that we can benefit from I would love to hear about it!  Leave it in the comments below.  Don't forget that February 1st is a drawing for a Target gift card - make sure you are a follower of this blog and we will see who the big winner is next Wednesday!!

It's Hard To Hate Up Close

There is a certain human flaw that has been showing its ugly face more and more.  It is nothing new but I seem to be hearing about it more in the news, in blogs, on facebook and other media outlets.  Every time it causes such a stirring of frustration inside me.  This flaw has many names - hatred, racism, bullying, prejudice, ignorance.  This flaw comes out of many intentions - fear of the unknown, hatred for those who are different, out of "love."  Not matter what you call it, no matter what your intention is, the plain and simple truth is - it is wrong!

The stories are endless.  A hate crime being committed against someone simply because of the color of their skin.  An overweight person who struggles with motivation because of those who make fun of them.  A high school student takes his own life because his peers make fun of him for being gay.   We look at someone who dresses differently than "the norm" and we automatically make assumptions about the way they live their life.  We place harsh judgments on those who drink, or smoke, or do drugs, or struggle with an eating disorder.  Those who practice a different religion or faith than ours are shunned.  We see it every night on the news.  It turns my stomach every time I hear of someone who took their life because death was a better option for them than the life they were living.  Let that sink in for a moment.  What some people experience in life is so bad that they would rather cease to exist than to live one more day in their own hell. 

My point is not to be "pro" or "anti" any of these issues.  Yes, some choices hurt people and we should do our part to help them but it has to come from a place of true intention and love.  It all comes down to how we treat people.  No matter what anyone is going through in their life, what they struggle with, the choices that they make - we are not helping in any way if we throw hatred or disgust or anger in their face.  Many who disguise gossip as a prayer request need to simply be silent and look within instead of fulfilling their own self righteous need. 

I definitely believe that ignorance plays a large role in this problem because people are scared of what they do not know.  Defining ignorance is simply being uninformed, unaware, or uneducated on a particular subject.  When someone is different than us, it makes us uncomfortable and our tendency is to push away instead of draw near.  I heard a quote recently that I love.  It's hard to hate up close.  It is very easy to hate, to bully, to disrespect, to assume from far off.  That is where ignorance comes into play.  But what if we chose to take a moment and listen.  To try and understand where a person is coming from.  If we get to know the person for who they really are instead of the label that we have placed on them - I am confident that it would change how we treat them.  Again, whether or not you agree with the issue is not the issue at all.  But education really does tear down walls and can change how we view certain aspects of life.  It's hard to hate up close. 

My challenge to you is this:  Find someone who is different than you, who thinks differently than you, who believes differently than you, who looks different than you.  Find a way to spend time with them and as you learn more about their life, about their story, see what happens inside of you.  It is a way for us to step outside of our own comfort zone and expand our view on the world.  I know that this is not a light-hearted, funny blog - but I have been so impacted by the stories that I hear of those who struggle and even give up on life because others chose to hate instead of show true love.  Yes, I know that we live in an imperfect world but we can each do our part to make change happen.  Let's be a part of the solution instead of the problem.  Let's lead by example for those who look up to us.  It goes back to what our momma taught us - if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.  However, some of us need to speak out on behalf of those who do not have the courage to do so.  We need to be a friend to those who feel as if they have none.  As a society, we have come a long way but it does seem as if we still have a long way to go.  We never know the impact we have on someone's life - both good and bad - so make the right choice and show someone that they matter.  Be a part of the change. 

There's Nothing Wrong With Me

Napoleon Dynamite - perfect example!

There is a routine to my mornings.  Monday through Fridays usually start off the same way.  Wake up, go to the bathroom, shave (every other morning), brush my teeth, shower (it's important to shave and brush my teeth before I shower, so that I am completely clean when I step out), get dressed, make my bed, make my lunch, eat breakfast, and leave for work.  My bathroom has two sinks (fancy, I know) and I always shave in the right sink and brush my teeth in the left sink. 

There's nothing wrong with me.

In the shower, the soap and shampoo bottle always face forward and upright and they need to stay that way.  The bed does need to be made each morning because it is awful to come home at night to an unmade bed.  The toilet paper roll needs to roll over, not under - it just makes sense people!  When I fold laundry, the towels are folded first, then shirts, then underwear, and end with socks.  It is the largest to smallest method of folding.

There's nothing wrong with me.

When I cook dinner, I clean up as I go.  I cannot sit down to eat while dirty dishes are just sitting in the sink staring at me.  And all dishes are prerinsed in the sink before being loaded into the dishwasher.  The thought of all that food floating around in the rinse cycle is almost more than I can handle (it was actually hard typing that last sentence). 

There's nothing wrong with me. 

When I go to the movies, we need to arrive in time to watch the previews because that is the best part.  However, if we miss the previews I will still survive but if we miss the first five minutes of the actual movie - we might as well turn around and go back home.  The opening scene to a movie is very important!  After the movie, I really like to stay through the credits.  Two reasons for this (I know you are dying to know!) - those who made the movie deserve the chance to have their names read.  There is also a chance that there will be a "bonus scene" at the end and only those of us who stay through the credits will be fortunate enough to see it!  And at the movies,we need to sit towards the back, not in the front.  Not the very back row - but somewhere in the last ten rows will be just fine.  I am thankful for those who sit in the front because it assures that I will get a seat towards the back. 

Hmmm, is there something wrong with me? 

I do like surprises but whenever possible, I like to know what the plans will be.  One of my friends loves to text me and say - be ready at 6:15pm.  Wait, what?  What are we doing?  Where are we going?  What should I wear?  Should I eat beforehand?  How do you know I don't already have plans?  OK, so I probably don't have plans but only once have I just gone with it and been ready for whatever - and it turned out to be a fun night! 

Seriously Kevin, just let go and live a little!

A large majority of the time I am outgoing and fun to be around.  However, that small percentage of time that is left is - well, it's called a Kevin mood and it is not fun for anyone that is near.  Most of the time it is brought on by hunger but there are other frustrations that can unleash the monster as well.  I will admit that I do not like being around me either during these times and it is usually best to just let me be - or feed me - either will work.  But like I said - most of the time it is all smiles with me!

This idea came about when I read an article in a magazine about little quirks that make their way into our life and to others it just sounds crazy, but to us it is completely normal, rational, and understandable.  I started writing this and the list just got longer and longer!  Yes, each one on the list makes perfect sense to me and I am sure I have left some out - but my friends and family have suggested at one time or another that I might be a little anal, controlling, uptight - it's all crazy talk, but they are entitled to their opinion, right? 

For those of you who do not know me that well - this lets you a little deeper into my life.  It is all part of what makes us unique - the good, the bad, and the oh wow moments of our lives!  What little quirks do you have in your life?  Leave it in the comments below.  Come on people - I know I am not the only one who is a little weird!  And for now I will just keep saying that there is nothing wrong with me!

It's Time For A Laugh (at my sisters' expense)

This picture is a few years old, but it at least gives you a good visual for today's blog

First things first.  In my very first post this year, I promised that I would have a give-a-way once a month and the time is drawing near to fulfill the first of twelve give-a-ways!  The only requirement is to be a "follower" of the blog so if you have not done so - click on the link to the right  and become a follower today!  The first drawing will be held Wednesday, February 1st.  The winner will receive a gift card to one of my favorite places - TARGET!  It is my own way of being Oprah - on a much, much, MUCH smaller scale. 

Since today is about fun, I wanted to share a funny story about my two sisters, Christy and Cara.  As siblings, we have a great relationship and one overriding theme in our experiences is that we can find the humor in any situation.  This may sound odd to others but one of our favorite things to laugh about is when one of us gets sick (it really does sound bad, doesn't it?).  In the moment, we are sympathetic and do what we can to help the other get better but within a reasonable amount of time (usually about 24 hours) we will begin joking at the expense of the one went knocking on death's door.  The laughter has been towards me many times before and trust me - my sisters found humor in my vulnerable moments rather quickly but this time it was my turn to do the laughing!

Christy and Cara were together in a public setting a couple of weekends ago.  Little did they know that "the death virus" as it came to be known, was making its way through the crowd.  I am sure many of you have experienced the death virus.  Without going into too much detail it involves twenty-four hours of aches, pains, chills, sweats, and very frequent sprints to the bathroom!  There are usually a couple of moments during that twenty-four hour span that you just pray for your life to end because death would be better than what you are experiencing now! So now that we understand what the death virus is - let us continue on with the story.

Christy was the first victim.  It came on rather suddenly and she immediately made her first of many sprints to the bathroom.  Again, they were in a public setting and so she had to go to a public bathroom.  On a positive note, this was a one person bathroom so she was still able to maintain some privacy.  Cara noticed after awhile that she had not seen Christy and began a search.  Cara walked around for what seemed like an hour before finding Christy - although she was unprepared for what she would find.  Christy had pretty much set up house in this public restroom.  She had become so sick that the only comfort that could be found was laying down on the floor.  That's right folks - Christy laid her face on the public bathroom floor!  Dignity was thrown out the window.  Modesty and self respect were no more.  What Cara found when she opened the door was her sister, half-dressed and face to the floor.  After Cara recovered from that horrible sight, they were able to get Christy to a car in order to take her home and out of the public view.  I wonder what people thought as she walked out of the building?  As Christy's husband drove her home, she had another "moment" and all that could be done was stick her head out the window and let the "moment" pass.  I heard that there were convulsions, kicking, and moaning (is that normal?) - and that remnants of "the moment" were left all down the side of the vehicle!  That is quite a sight for all of us to take in right now.  Can you imagine those people that were innocently driving down the road and looked over and beheld - the monster! 

Cara thought that the death virus had passed her by but a couple of days later, it came knocking on her door.  She was home alone and Christy called me to ask if I would check on Cara.  I called - no answer.  I text - no answer.  I began to wonder if the virus had won but then later that night, my phone rang.  Cara had now been fighting with the virus for about twelve hours and it was quickly winning.  She began telling me (in detail - which I will spare you, the reader) how she was burning up and freezing at the same time.  How many constant sprints to the bathroom there were to have "moments."  At one point, she crawled out of the bathroom and laid on the hardwood floor in her hallway - half naked - simply because it felt good.  (What is it with being naked on cold floors?)  A friend of hers had dropped off some crackers and Sprite by her front door.  As Cara struggled to get to the front door, she opened it and grabbed the items - only then realizing that she was not wearing much, but did not care.  Once again, all modesty and self-respect are gone with the death virus.  Cara than asked if I could come to her house the next day and deliver some much needed supplies - Gatorade, Lysol, Pepto Bismol tablets, and toilet paper.  She said that she was going to try and go to school so I agreed to come up and drop off the survival kit while she was away.  Basically that meant that yes, I will help you but no, I do not want you to be there spreading your germs on me!  When I arrived at her house, all I could think was - I cannot get the death virus!  I cannot get the death virus!  I took a deep breath, unlocked her back door and ran in - dropped the supplies off in the kitchen, grabbed the Lysol and made a mad dash through her house spraying things down.  Her house was dark and for a brief moment I wondered if Cara was laying on the couch while I was spraying it down.  I did not wait around to see because I was holding my breath the entire time. 

Both Christy and Cara have survived the death virus and are now back to their normal selves.  No more laying down in public restrooms, no more nakedness in the hallway - they have regained their self respect - only to now relive it for the world through my blog.  In all honesty, I am glad that they recovered and I am really glad that I did not get it!  But trust me - it did not take long for us to laugh about that experience and make fun of each other!  And yes, they know that being a part of my life means that you might get included in my blog. 

Hopefully, this gave you a laugh today and I hope that everyone has a great weekend!  Don't forget to become a follower so that you can have a chance to win the Target gift card!

When Opportunity Knocks

As I am living out my own journey, there are times when I am reminded of what I write about - and how I need to remember my own advice.  This week I have covered the topics of discipline and failure.  I also made the statement last week that if you want life to present opportunities to do good, then it will - and we have to be ready to seize that moment and make the right choice.  These three topics - discipline, failure, and seizing the moment - all came to fruition in my life this week and in some ways I followed through, but in some ways I did not. 

I had all intention to be very disciplined this week in certain areas and although I am doing well so far, I have let a couple of things go by without following through.  The bad thing is - I really do not have a good excuse.  I did not work out yesterday simply because I chose not to.  I told myself I was full from lunch (fajitas and nachos) and just needed to relax.  That is actually when I really need to work out, right?  I did not work on my book last night because I chose to watch TV later than I needed and ended up going to bed.  Sure it could be a lot worse but the point is - I made the decision to be disciplined this week and by day three I failed (and I use that word lightly).  Today was a new day and I have followed through with my commitments.  I did choose to remember  that failure is an opportunity, not the end.  Instead of completely giving up I made sure and worked out today and will be working on the book before I go to bed tonight - I promise.   

My other learning moment this week came from the idea of seizing the moment.  I have made a conscious effort to be open to the opportunities that life presents to do good and help others.  Today at work, I had a "random moment" where another co-worker asked me to help her with a schedule change.  I quickly said that I had plans and was unable to switch days and work for her.  WHAT?!  I did not really have plans - I have just been looking forward to my day off tomorrow and did not want to change that.  Can we say selfish?  She was not upset and continued to ask others that might be able to help - but the point is that I did not seize the moment to help someone else.  My goal is to not hesitate in helping others - instead I did not hesitate to come up with a way to not help!  That's awful Kevin!

Here is the moral of the story - if we put something out into the world it is going to come back to us.  If we pray for something to happen - it might actually happen and we need to be ready.  If we decide to do something - be willing to follow through.  And if we mess up, it is probably not the end of the world but use that as an opportunity to learn from it and do better the next time.  One thing about writing this blog is that it easily comes back to me in my life and that is why I share the good and the bad of what I am learning on this journey. 

Make sure and come back tomorrow.  I am going to stray from the norm and tell a funny story about my sisters.  After a couple of weeks I thought it was time for just a fun blog!  I will also give more details about the my first give-a-way for the year!  Have a great day!

The Opportunity To Fail

Accomplishing a goal, taking on a new project, pursuing a dream, trying something you have never done before - all very exciting things that I am encouraging each of you to do!  My theme for 2012 is this is the year and I want to face life head on and explore new levels of living that I have yet to experience.  My blog so far has been an encouragement and motivation for you to do the same.  Keeping it practical and realistic helps to keep our head out of the clouds and put action to our words.  It is always encouraging to hear about others who are pursuing their goals and striving for a better life - it motivates me to do more with my life!

Today, I do want to tackle a subject that is not the most enjoyable to talk about, but is a true side of living life - the reality of failure.  All of us have worked hard at something and seen success - and that feels great!  All of us have also worked hard towards something and seen failure - and that never feels good.  Let's be honest - it sucks to fail!  However, it is in that moment of failure that our character is defined and quite possibly a new possibility can be born.  It is also about perspective because how we define failure helps to determine how we react to it.  Some see failure as an absolute.  If they do not succeed then they lose all hope that it could ever become a reality.  Some allow it to define who they are as a person - their plans failed and therefore they are a failure (aka - loser)! 

What if we changed our perspective?  What if we saw failure as an opportunity?  Instead of staying focused on the fact that a particular plan did not work out like we wanted it to - we widened our view in order to see how it might fit into the bigger picture of our lives.  If we could remember that big dreams require risks and sometimes it means failing but we have to try.  I am a believer in the saying - better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  It applies to so many areas of life.  I would rather try something, take a risk, pursue a dream and fail than regret never trying at all. 

Take a minute to watch this video (it's short) and see how these well known people may have never reached their fullest potential had they stopped after a moment of failure.

As you set out on your journey for the new year, I hope that the fear of failure will not keep you from going after what you really want in life.  Whether it is a new relationship, a dream job, a move to a new city, a crazy idea, or simply the idea to live your best life - learn to embrace failure as an opportunity to move forward.  The truth is - it's going to happen so why not see it for what it is, learn from it, and keep moving forward!  Failure is not the end - it's an opportunity!

The Art of Discipline

It is now week three of the new year and over the weekend I took a moment to look at where I am so far in 2012 and where I am going and conclude whether or not I was satisfied.  For the most part the answer was yes and in some ways no - with that in mind, I decided to use this week to discipline myself to stay focused on the goal and to make whatever progress possible. 

Discipline as a verb can be defined as - to train or develop by instruction and exercise especially in self control (Webster).  When I read that I thought - this does  not sound very fun!  However, I know from experience that the end result is always worth the work put into it.  I have run a couple of marathons in my life and this year I have a goal set to run a half-marathon.  What I learned from prior races is that it takes great discipline to be able to run 26.2 miles.  If I were to just get up on race day and decide to run the entire race with no prior training whatsoever- basically, I would die.  It took months of training and building up my endurance to be able to cross the finish line without having to be drug across it.  Yes, it took up a lot of my time to run each day but the end result was well worth it!  To cross the finish line after running a marathon entails such a feeling of accomplishment and personal growth.  From the day I decided to actually train for a marathon until the morning of the race - discipline was a constant and taught me a lot about life in general. 

Whatever you have decided to accomplish in 2012 - I am sure that it will require some measure of discipline.  Goals do not just happen without some amount of work being put into it.  That discipline can be most effective with smaller goals or consistent progress made to achieve the end result.  Do not tackle it all at once.  Break it down into smaller, attainable steps.  Decide what needs to be done each week in order to see the progress made. 

For me, discipline looks like this over the next five days:  I will get up twenty minutes earlier every morning in order to have time to start my day off right (Bible study, prayer, meditation).  I will not skip a day at the gym.  I will strive to save money this week by not spending any this week (which means taking my lunch to work and cooking dinner at home every night).  I will end each night with at least thirty minutes of working on my new book.  I will send out emails to help get my Pay It Forward dream off the ground and I will not pass up an opportunity to help someone in need.  Each one of these are very realistic for this week and it will help get me closer to the end goal.  Let's face it - if I want that great body this year I have to be consistent going to the gym.  It is certainly not just going to appear one day!  If I want to build my savings account,  I have to cut out some things!  If my book is ever going to get on the shelf - I have to write the words down first! 

Discipline.  Some days it may not be as fun, but anyone who has ever accomplished a goal knows that it is worth it!  What are your goals for this year?  What needs to be done in order to accomplish that goal?  What can you do this week to take a small step towards making it happen?  Make discipline a positive thing!

My Resolutions for 2012

After spending some time thinking through what I wanted to focus on for 2012, I came up with my list, wrote it down, and wanted to post it on my blog.  This helps me to remain focused, stay motivated, and be held accountable.  I have taken my own advice and included things that would help grow me as a person, cause me to think outwardly and how I can be of service to others, and also a dream that will take a lot of work to accomplish.  I wanted to be realistic with my goals but also push myself to develop more into who I am meant to be.  So here it is - my list of resolutions for the new year!

1.  My person - I plan to remain focused on making healthy eating choices and drinking more water.  When it comes to food I do believe in all things in moderation (chocolate and Mexican food are must haves for me!) but I want a strong majority of what I eat and drink to benefit my health and body.  I also want to work out four times a week and train for a 1/2 marathon this year.  One last goal I have this year when it comes to myself is updating my wardrobe and clothing style.  Yes, it may be a rather vain goal, but I know that when you feel good about the way you look then you feel better about yourself.  So here's to looking good this year! 

2.  Service to others - I do want to focus a lot of my time on serving others.  One simple way is through cards of encouragement.  I love receiving a card in the mail and I want to do better at sending out cards - not birthdays, holidays, or special events - but just a random card of encouragement.  I also want to find opportunities to volunteer in my city and help out whenever needed.  When those moments present itself in my life to do something good, I do not want to hesitate but seize the moment!  Carpe diem people!

3.  My finances - I will be the first to admit that I have never been a "money-wise" type of guy.  Suze Orman would definitely give me a smack down!  More times than not, my money controls me but this year I plan to control my money and make it work for me.  I want to be responsible with my money, save as much as I can, and be faithful at tithing to my church.  My financial advisor (aka - my bestie Richard) is good at reminding me how much I have to learn when it comes to money so I need to make him proud this year!

4.  Pursuing a passion - I love to write and the two avenues I want to use to express this passion is through my blog and continued work on my book.  Writing four blogs a week is a great way for me to exercise this ability.  Plans for my book (titled, Standing On The Edge) include setting small goals to see the finished product complete by the fall of this year.  I love the process of writing and want to be more disciplined with both the blog and the book to make them effective and worthwhile.   

5.  A bigger dream - I believe that everyone should have a goal that seems a little out of reach and mine would be the Pay It Forward events here in Nashville.  I want to start small but end with events across the city that would bring happiness to deserving people and inspire others to do the same.  I know a step by step plan to get there and have a strong desire to implement that plan now. 

I know that every one of these goals are possible and keeping my list somewhat small helps me to remain focused.  As the year goes on, we will see how these resolutions become reality and where it takes me in life.  I am very aware that we can plan all we want, but life can take us in many different directions (more to be said about that in a later blog)  - but that is also the exciting part of life.  However, I do believe in goals and always working towards bigger things in life.  I hope all of you are doing the same!  Have a great weekend and I will see you on Monday!


This week I am grateful for:  1.  Getting rest - I tried an earlier bedtime this week and it has really helped!  2.  Great things happening in many friends' lives  3.  Funny stories about my sisters being sick (it sounds bad I know, but maybe I can share them in an upcoming blog!)  4.  Watching a documentary called, I Am - very encouraging and thought-provoking  5.  The first snowfall today - it was brief, but beautiful!

Working Through The Past

For those who do not know, I attend Cross Point Church here in Nashville.  I have been going for almost a year and I love it!  I am always encouraged and challenged by Pastor Pete's messages and at times like to carry some of his points over into my blog.  This past Sunday, he talked about how many of us want to keep our past in the past but sometimes we need to work through it before we can ever experience the life we were meant to live.  I agree with his view and believe it to fit very nicely into our theme of - this is the year!

All of us have a past.  It is part of life.  Just as each of us are unique - so is our past.  Some may look back at their lives with great memories, some may only remember hard times.  You may have had an ideal childhood or one that brings up feeling of hurt and anger.  The teenage years normally include some sort of rebellion and some of us learn from those times and some of us continue down paths that destruct.  As we grow into adulthood it is the time for finding out who we truly are.  For some it comes easy and for others it comes through trial and error.  The common bond for all of us is that the sum of these experiences shape us into who we become.  Pastor Pete made the point that many times we want to keep the past in the past, lock it up, and throw away the key.  This is a very unhealthy way of dealing with the past because it prevents us from ever moving forward in life and breaking free to explore the possibility (like we talked about yesterday). 

In my thirty-six years of life so far (I agree - I look much younger!), I know that I have evolved into who I am today.  I was blessed to have a great childhood and raised by incredible parents.  My teenage years were not too rebellious - just the occasional coming in past my curfew or stealing a road sign (I blame peer pressure)!  My twenties, however, was the time that had a few ups and downs as I began searching out who I truly am.  Although there are good and bad memories, I had to work through those times and learn for myself what was at the core of who I am as a person - my beliefs, my purpose, and what makes me unique.   Had I left some of the tough moments in life in the past and never worked through them, I know that I would still struggle today.  However, I do feel confident that I know what I believe, what my purpose is, and what makes up who I am - the good and the bad. 

As the present becomes the past, each experience shapes us into who we are becoming.  I do believe that life is a continual process and one we are continually learning from.  Whatever is holding you back from experiencing your authentic self - I encourage you to face it head on and work through it.  Although it may not be easy, it will make you stronger.  If this is the year for a new start in life, to move forward, and to break through to a deeper level of understanding - we must understand how our past shapes us, and use that to build from for an even brighter future. 

What Is The Possibility?

Happy Monday everyone!  I hope you all had a great weekend and are off to a great start to this second week of the new year!  Let's do a quick review of last week and then build off of that to today's topic.  First, we started with the declaration that this is the year!  The year for change, the year to live with intention, to be present in the moment, to serve others, and to step out of our comfort zone and experience life in different ways.  On Tuesday we discussed that true change in our lives will come only when we believe that it will happen and then put action to those beliefs.  Our goals need to be attainable and realistic - and also include one or two big dreams that might be out of our reach but still within the realm of possibility.  Wednesday's blog was about serving others and how we need to think outwardly as well when we choose how to live our lives in 2012.  Serving others is huge and we are given the chance to do so more times than not.  How we choose to react is what defines our character. 

As a side note - the day after posting that blog, I was driving and came to a particular red light where there is always someone standing on the side with a sign asking for help.  I have to admit that normally I do not have cash in my wallet and end up driving past them without being able to help.  As I waited for the light to turn green, I saw the man holding the sign and remembered that I had cash in my wallet.  I instantly felt the need to give whatever was in my wallet.  Then the thoughts began - I might need the money, he might not spend it on what I thought was needed, the light is about to turn green!  But I was quickly reminded of what I had written the previous day and how it is not my job to ponder on the outcome - but to simply give.  So I opened my wallet and gave the man cash and his grateful response quickly drowned out any hesitation I had before.  I was not able to change his life but I was able to hopefully make that day a little better.  I do not share that story to pat myself on the back but so simply reinforce the idea of serving others.  Many times an opportunity comes about quickly and instead of thinking too much, we simply to need to react and serve.   

Last Thursday I encouraged everyone to write out their goals for 2012.  We talked about the importance of writing it down and how it serves as a reminder to keep working until we are able to cross it off our list.  I am still working on my poster board but will post a picture this week once I get it done!

Today I want to focus on the word possibility.  When you think about your life and this year - what comes to mind as far as the possibilities?  I know that we are all different and we each have a unique purpose for our life.  Sometimes I think that we put a wall up and do not allow our lives to really explore its full potential.  One question I love is - if you did not have any fear, what would you really want to do?  Fear holds us back but if we could risk rejection or failure, we might open ourselves up to possibilities we did not even know were there.  There are many iconic figures in our culture and history that truly define possibility.  Thomas Edison, Mozart, Buzz Aldrin, Oprah, Steve Jobs, Lady Gaga, Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, Martin Luther King, James Cameron, Nelson Mandela, Pablo Picasso, Mother Teresa - I could list hundreds, and the common thread is that they all explored what could be in their life and did not let fear stand in the way.  Every time I hear of someone like this and how they used their lives I can't help but think - what could I do with mine? 

I do believe that we can keep our head in the clouds sometimes and focus so much on what the big dream is that we never actually work on getting there.  However, I do believe that what could be in our lives is never outside the realm of possibility.  We are not all called to be iconic figures or written about in the history books, but there is a possibility inside each of us that can have the same effect in the world.  I always use my dad as an example.  He was not famous or super talented, but in the fifty-three years that he was here on earth, he allowed his life to be open to the possibility - and in doing so, he impacted countless others in a positive way. 

As you continue to think of your goals for the new year, do not limit yourself.  Do not think - I could never do that.  Find your passion, your calling, what you are truly meant to do in life - and then explore the possibilities!  What is the possibility in your own life? 

This Is The Year - Pen and Paper Time!

There is one phrase that can be read in the prior three blogs that I have posted this week - write it down!  It was not a coincidence because I wanted to get the idea across to write it down!  I read earlier this week that a goal that is not written down is simply a wish.  I would have to agree.  Writing it down on paper makes it more real to us, it serves as a reminder, and it is also a visual way to put it out there in the world so that life can do its thing and make it a reality.  On a very practical level - if I do not write something down, I do not remember to do it.  Post-it notes and sharpie markers are one of my favorite things and are used quite frequently in my life.  Therefore, I would concur that writing it down makes it stick more in our minds which helps us to stay focused on the goal.  Yes, I came up with that last one all on my own!

Last year I had a vision board and printed off pictures of everything that I wanted to do that year and pasted them onto a poster board.  It is a creative way to visualize your resolutions.  This year I have decided to simply write them down - but on a poster board so that it stands out and as goals are accomplished I will mark them off of the big list.  However you decide to do it - I promise that writing it down will help bring the goals to life.   

One piece of advice before making it final with pen and paper - take some time to really think about what your goals for 2012 will be.  If you are like me, you can come up with many things that you think you want to accomplish.  The truth is, if you are not truly committed and passionate about the goal, it will probably not come true.  On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being "no desire" and 10 being "extremely passionate" each of your goals that your write down should be a 9 or 10.  My other piece of advice would be to make sure that a majority of your list is attainable and doable.  There should be one or two that are big dreams (we will talk more about those on a different day) but most should be resolutions that you feel are capable of being achieved.  The great thing about this is that as you accomplish your goals, it will motivate you to dream bigger and reach higher.  It will open your life up to possibilities that you never knew existed.

Write it down.  If you have not done so already, use the weekend to really decide what you want to accomplish with your life in 2012.  Write it down.  Find a good friend to share it with so that they can help keep you accountable and motivated.  Write it down.  As one goal is accomplished, cross it off and move to the next one.  Write it down.  As I said on Monday, I truly believe that this year is going to be fantastic for each of us so let's get started and experience all that life has to offer us!  And one more thing - write it down! 


This week, I am grateful for:  1.  A brand new year full of optimism and motivation  2.  The chance to help someone in need  3.  Being a part of my nephew's first haircut!  4.  Spending time with family and great friends  5.  Great things that are happening in my sisters' lives

This Is The Year - Serving Others!

If you were to write out your goals for the new year (and I hope that you DO write them down), how many of them are focused on yourself?  There is nothing wrong with that because we should constantly strive to improve our own lives but I do believe that part of that progression in life comes from serving others.  One of the best feelings comes out of helping others and seeing how it affects their life.  Although we may not see the end result, there is a satisfaction that comes from doing the right thing.  The truth is - we have all had people in our lives that showed kindness to us and therefore, we should do the same to others.  That is why I love the idea of paying it forward and plan to bring that idea to a new level in my own life this year. 

I ran across a website that is all about serving others and inspiring us all to do the same.  It is called Resolution12 and I encourage all of you to visit the site and participate!  The idea behind Resolution12 is to get us to think outwardly and resolve to help improve the lives of others this year.  The website is simple - read what others have decided to do this year to help others and then list your own.  There are a wide variety of ideas people have - from donating clothes to charity, to giving more financially, to complimenting more, to writing letters.  The common thread in each of them is that it answers the question - What little imprint can you make on the world?  Any chance to think more of others than ourselves is a great thing so I strongly encourage and challenge you to click on the link below and contribute your own idea - and stick with it! 

                                                  http://resolution12.org/

If you are like me, there are many times that we wish we participated more, volunteered more, said yes more but our busy lives sometimes get in the way of serving others.  One of my resolutions this year is to make the time, sign up to volunteer, say yes - make it happen!  I know that no matter what it requires of me, I will leave more fulfilled and more heart opened up wider to the possibilities in life.  As you write out your list for 2012, be sure to include serving others and begin thinking of very practical, very doable ways that you can help make the world a better place. 

This Is The Year - Be The Change!

This is the time of year when gyms are overcrowded, weight loss programs skyrocket, and get out of debt programs are put into place.  The feeling of "I can do it!" is in the front of everyone's mind.  You know what I am talking about.  We tell everyone our resolutions, put them on facebook (which makes it real) and how dare anyone tell us it won't last this time.  With such determination and "confidence" why is that by February or March, so many gyms are abandoned, junk food has made a triumphant return in our lives, and swiping the credit card is something we do without even thinking!  At that point, we like to just sweep it all under the rug in hopes that no one remembers what we so joyously proclaimed only weeks earlier.  There's always next year, right?

I am a very goal-oriented person and work best that way.  However, as I look back at some of the goals I had for 2011, I see that I did not cross everything off the list.  There was no half-marathon run and I do not have an award-winning show on YouTube yet (and the Emmy goes to.....).  I can come up with excuses as to why these things did not happen, but they are simply that - excuses.  I did accomplish a lot of my goals and for that I am grateful.  However, as I have been pondering what 2012 will hold for my life and what I would like to see happen I have been reminded of a few important things that I think can apply to all of us who like to make resolutions.  First - make sure and refine your list.  I am one who likes to dream big and can think of hundreds of things I would like to happen each year.  This year, I have narrowed down the list and am trying to only choose a few goals that are realistic and attainable.  That's not to say that I stop dreaming big (and I hope that you all do) but we may have to take smaller steps to get there.  Secondly, I need to truly believe in what I resolve to do this year.  Sometimes we might jump on the bandwagon of a particular goal simply because everyone else is doing it.  Do not decide to lose weight unless it is what you really want to do.  Do not decide to run a marathon unless you believe in it and are willing to put in the work.  Make sure that what you decide to do is something that you are passionate about and find meaning in seeing it become a reality. 

Once you come up with your list of goals for 2012, write them down (that's a very important step that we will talk about later in the week) and then start working on making them come true.  Put the plan into action.  Take the small steps.  Decide to have a persistent determination that will not give up.  What I have learned in life is that if you want something - you have to make it happen.  If you wish things were different in the world, we have to begin now living out that change.  You cannot just sit around and wait.  You have to be the change. 

2012 - This Is The Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!  I hope that you all had a great holiday and are ready for a brand new year!  I love the feeling that January 1st brings - a new year, a clean slate, and the excitement of not knowing what lies ahead.  No matter if 2011 was the best year of your life, the worst year of your life, or somewhere in between (for me, it was somewhere in between) - it is now in the past and there is a renewed sense of possibility for all of us. 

I also want to welcome you to a new chapter and a new look for my blog.  If this is your first time reading, thanks so much for taking the time to check it out!  If you stuck with me last year and decided to come back for more, thank you as well - it means a lot!  I took the last week to really think about what I wanted my blog to accomplish.  My intention is still the same - to encourage, motivate, and inspire you in your journey as I share about what I am learning in mine.  However, I do plan to incorporate some new concepts to help keep things fresh and interesting.  My goal is to post four blogs a week (Monday - Thursday).  In the coming months, I hope to start doing one video blog a week.  This is in preparation for another goal of mine and I want to try it out here first and see how it goes.  My hope this year is that the blog will be entertaining, practical, motivational, and challenging.  A lot goes on in this head of mine and I love using this venue to express it.  However, I also know that there is a lot to learn from other people as well.  I plan on incorporating other people's stories as well in the hope that we can broaden ourselves even more to what life is all about.  Oh, and one more thing.  I am going to have a give-a-way each month for those who follow the blog - so make sure you are signed up!  I promise it will be good stuff - not leftover Christmas gifts I need to take back!

This week, I do plan to talk about the new year and what my own personal goals are for 2012.  No matter if you believe in resolutions or just think they are meant to be broken - I know that living out this year with purpose and determination helps to define the type of life we all want to live.  I can honestly say that parts of 2011 were not my best and parts of it were incredible but I am confident in the fact that 2012 is going to be a fantastic year!  This is the year for change.  This is the year to live with intention.  To be present in the moment, to use our lives to serve others, and maybe to even step out of our box and experience life in different ways.  Yes, I am excited about this new year and not only what it holds for myself but for so many others as well.  I hope that as you read this blog over the next year (and I hope that you do) that it will play a small part in helping you get the most out of life! 

Last year, I ended every post with the five things that I am grateful for that day.  This year, I am switching it up a little and will end each week with the five things I am grateful for that week.  Don't forget to become a follower so that you can participate in the give-a-ways (who doesn't like free stuff?!)  Thanks again for taking the time to be a part of my blog and I hope and pray that 2012 includes bigger dreams than we could ever dream for ourselves.