Last night I did something I have not done in way too long - hung out with one of my best friends. Although we keep in touch through texts (my main form of communication), it has been four or five months since we actually hung out. We met up at one of our usual spots for a drink and conversation. His name is Richard and the thing about our friendship is that we are so different but it seems to make for really good besties. We see the world from two different perspectives. I am more of an idealist and he is more of a realist. He is a thinker and I am.. well, not always a thinker. I love Oprah and he is not her biggest fan. (That last one is still hard for me to accept but it's OK - he will come around one day). Although I probably try to force him to believe the way I do too much - I have learned that I could learn a thing or two from his view as well. It has not always been that way though.
For those who may not know - I am a rather independent, sometimes stubborn, one who likes to be in control type of person. At least that is what other people tell me. I do feel as though I have improved some in these areas (maybe) but I will admit that I do not always take criticism very well. I tend to get defensive and at times want to tell the other person that they could not be any more wrong - but I am learning that it is good to just listen and take in what the other person says sometimes. Perhaps there is a chance that they could be right. Richard has become one of those people that I allow to speak the truth to me, whether it is good or bad, and I take it in and process it before I react. Allow doesn't really sound right, but you know what I mean. It has not always been that way though. The first time he did it, I fired back with everything I had and could not believe the nerve of this person to say such things! I later learned that part of his motive was to push some buttons and see how I would react. I guess it worked - so if you would like that type of reaction from me, just ask Richard. Over time however, I began to realize that whether I liked it or not, he was able to see my life from a different perspective than my own and it might help if I would listen sometimes and heed his advice. So now when we talk and need to have those "tell it like it is" moments, I do not look for a heavy object to throw - I open my mind up to the possibility that he might be right. For the record - I still think on my own and he is not always right, but I am just saying that I consider the possibility.
As we talked last night, we discussed life's lessons that we have both learned, are in the process of learning, or need to learn. Hindsight is always 20/20 and if we knew then what we knew now would we have made the same decisions? We did come to the conclusion that sometimes you just have to go through something, learn from it, and hopefully come out of it a better person. The learning part is not always fun but that is part of what life is about. As I mentioned yesterday, life may speak in whispers or loud voices but we will hear it one way or another. The conversations last night were mainly of those lessons we had to learn the hard way but everyone does it. We all wish sometimes that we could convince someone we care about that they do not want to go down a particular road because we have been there, done that, and know how it will turn out! But sometimes you just have to let that person experience it and learn from it. That is where my stubbornness hurts me. I have had to learn lessons the hard way and just last night I asked Richard why in the world he would not just tell me that I was making a mistake! But he knew that I had to learn it on my own. Finding that balance is the key to a good friendship.
Who is that best friend in your life? We all need them and we all need to be that person for someone else. Make sure that there are people in your life that you allow to speak the truth to you - and when they do, be open to really hearing what they have to say. They can see our lives and our situations from a different perspective and that is a good thing! They are someone that we can trust, be completely honest with, and are completely ourselves around. I am thankful that I have more than one best friend and could write about each one of them (and probably should so they don't get mad)! I know I do not have it all figured out yet so it is good to learn from others and hopefully be the type of friend to them that they are to me.
And if Richard happens to read this blog - I said a lot of nice things about you today so try to keep your ego contained or I will have to share some of those "bestie secrets" that we have!
Today I am grateful for: 1. A night out last night to see friends 2. A day off from work today 3. Sweet potato pancakes I had for lunch 4. A new book I am about to start reading 5. Best friends in my life
No comments:
Post a Comment